ALTERNATE

SEONWOO : LUCID

"Pup don't ...."
"... please don't cry..."
"Sunoo..."
" ... Let us see you. Pup."
" We ... Sorry....."

Every word uttered slowly sank in but I just couldn't stop crying.
My chest that heaved and the muffled sobs that followed .

How could they leave me alone?

Why would they leave me alone?

It hurts more knowing they were together. Am I that unwanted.
Maybe that's it...
That's the only explanation that fits the narrative.

But ain't I used to being unwanted.

Why...
Why ......
Why am I hurting way more now?
Haven't I always known my position in life.

No!
I knew it ... I shouldn't have formed any bonds.
But ..
But... They are my mates.
That is what mates do... They form bonds.
We are supposed  to form the biggest bond.
It's supposed to shine so bright but why did it dim all of the sudden...

What did I do to deserve this.
I sweared on everything that I will treasure everything I could see in front of me.

The dilemma of life.

Did I do something wrong?
Somebody! Tell me!
What did I do wrong to be treated like this.

" Y...you a..re the worst." I cried.
At this point it was like some kind of mantra. " You...are the worst..."
" Pup... we are sorry..."

No! You are not...
" You...d..did... didn't re...re..reply to anything I wrote!"
" We-." Sunghoons voice came to a halt.

Was he about to say, they are sorry?
He can't even finish that sentence... Do they even have a reason to why they cut me off.
Why I had to be the only one who was guessing to what was really going on.
Am I supposed to keep guessing.

If I ask... Can they even tell me?

They are truly the worst.
At least they should tell me if am being a bother.
It feels better that way than never knowing.
" Y...y..you..." and I broke down again

" Sunoo. Pup. Please , at least look at us.."
" No!..."
" we will explain everything to you baby. Just -"
" You are lying... You are lying... You are lying!" I shook my head. " You lie.. lied to meeeee...."
This time they didn't give a response and I went on " y...y... you sh... should have t...told me . You should have even mentioned it, even once!!"

" I wro...wrote to you everyday... Everyday! And .. and... You. You just ignored me!" I wailed " if .. if you. You don't want meee.." my voice cracked and I inhaled " if you d..don't want me anymore. You shou... should have just said -"

"Don't you dare say that!"
"Kim Seonwoo!!"

Jay and Niki hyung reprimanded.
But am I not allowed to say that... Ain't I right for saying what is written on the paper
I muffled my cry, slowly leaving as groans.
"Fuck... Sunoo, pup ... " Jungwon's voice trailed off then resumed " we are sorry -"
"Th...then tell me, explain to me why. W..why am I... I the last one to... to know anything " I continued " you sh..shu..shut me off. Y.. you bought me...  How could you buy me!! And the worst part is that you... You didn't ev.. even both...bother to tell me."
" Pup-"
" Y.. you t..treat me... Like that. Li..ke am so..some piece of meat!" I held back a sob " do ... Do you think nothing of my opinion."
And I sobbed then wiped my tears but more only slipped out "you... you shou..ld have seen his smirk ."
" His stupid smirk!!" I vented as more tears fell.
And I cried... Finally letting it all out for the one who hurt me to see.
" Pup we are -"
"Stop saying that!!"

I know they are sorry but what hurts is that I know nothing can change.
They are a basic unit of one of the most richest families...
If they want me to never know, I will never know.
If they want me gone, I will disappear.
The only reason I got to know about the sale was cause of my father's huge ego.