The Younger Grey

|20| ᴜɴᴅᴇʀsᴛᴀɴᴅɪɴɢ.

Just fuckin' them girls, I was gon'-
I was gon' get right back
Just fuckin' them girls, I was gon'-
I was gon' get right back

You wouldn't want me if you thought I never had hoes
Women like men other women like
That's just something that everyone know

Don't forget I was fly when you got here (yeah)
Charismatic when you got here (uh, yeah)
You knew about me when you got here
Now you're trippin', girl, it's not fair
And you got my phone in your hands
Questions? Not again
Why do we do this?
When really, the truth is

If I get caught cheating
That don't mean I don't love you
Just fuckin' them girls, I was gon'-, I was gon'- (say it again)
If I get caught cheating (cheating)
That don't mean I don't love you
Just fuckin' them girls, I was gon-'
I know, I know you ain't gon' let
One little fuck (one little fuck)
Mess all this up (mess all this up)
Don't let one mistake (one mistake)
Take all this away (take all this away)
Don't let one little fuck (bae, no never)
Mess all this up (don't let it, yeah)
Don't let one mistake
Take all this weight (get right back)

Would you rather be the girl that cry in a Corolla or a foreign?
I don't wanna see you cry, I recognize the signs, I can't ignore 'em
And to tell the truth, it'll hurt you more
If you ever find what you're lookin' for
I ain't perfect
Baby girl, I'm worth it

I nodded as I danced around with my AirPods in. It was 4:30 am and I had just gotten home from the hospital. As soon as I got home, I took a long hot shower. Before going back down into the kitchen and cooking me some breakfast.

Usually I would wait for one of my sisters or Amanda to get up and cook. But I was starving like fuckin' Marvin right now, and I couldn't wait.

Licking my lips I smiled as I sat down with my protein pancakes, Turkey bacon, and egg whites. I drowned the pancakes in syrup, but before I could dig in and feed my face... I heard footsteps coming close behind me.

"So-"

I nearly jumped out of my skin. "Oh fuck me- Mer, how about announcing yourself before scaring the hell outta me."

Saying nothing she pulled out a stool at the bar and just sat there staring at me.

"So, where's Maggie?"

"She's staying with Winston for a few days."

Winston, he's pretty cool. I like him for my sister. "Ahh ok."

Picking up a piece of bacon I was cut off guard by Meredith.

"Do you know how much shit you're about to screw up?"

I cleared my throat and swallowed my food down. "Sorry, what?"

She had this look on her face, and I could tell not only by her face- but always body language; that I was probably in some deep shit.

"I know Y/N. So no need to pretend."

I took a deep breath before turning towards her more. "Derek told you huh?"

See, I knew I shouldn't have told him! He can't stop his pillow talking with Meredith for a second.

"No, and he didn't have to. Because I heard it from the horses mouth. Did you not think April would come to me about this?"

I sat silently not having anything to say in this moment.

"You really don't have a brain do you? I mean you got her fucking pregnant?!"

I rolled my eyes and nodded. "Yeah Mer I realize that. But do you know how many bit- I mean females." I corrected myself quickly seeing the look they were giving me. "Always claim to be pregnant with my kid?"

Shaking her head she placed her phone down on the counter and stared at me. "My god Y/N, when will you learn! This if nothing else, should be a huge fucking wake up call for you. You have to grow up and stop going around from woman to woman."

I groaned and shrugged. "Meredith I'm still young. I can't help I just wanna have my fun."

"No. But that doesn't mean you have to go around hurting people while you have your "fun". This shit is old, and you have to start taking accountability for your actions."

Accountability? For what, choosing to date around instead of being stuck in some relationship?

"Come on now sis, you know I'm not a fan of relationships. I just don't do any of that serious shit."

"Yeah, I know. So when are you going to admit it to yourself?" She asked folding her arms as she stared up at me.

Frowning, I raised my eyebrows at her. "Huh?"

Now I'm confused. She lost me with that shit.

"Y/N, you and I both know that this hasn't always been you. You have some sort of issues resonating inside, and until you realize and fix the problems- you'll never be truly happy. With any woman or yourself."

Her saying that took me by surprise. I know she doesn't know everything, but she knows I had a difficult past.

"What? Tryin to say I got mommy issues or somthin'?"

With her arms still crossed she turned her head to the side. "You said it, not me. All I'm saying is that this has to stop! You don't have to agree, but you need to understand. The world doesn't revolve around what Y/N wants."

"Damnit, why can't I just enjoy and live my life that way that I choose to?" I said shaking my head.

I'm so sick of having this conversation with everyone.

"No one said you couldn't. But people keep being put in the middle when they don't need to be. You could have left April alone, and Arizona- have you even thought about her?"

I shook my head, not saying a word. Fuck it, I know she's right. But I don't wanna hear this bullshit. I'm an adult, I can handle my own.

April and I were never anything, so if she thought differently how is that my fault? As for Arizona, I'm working on it. She may be the only woman I've had feelings for in a long ass time.

"Just make sure you know what you're doing Y/N. I'm not going to be able to save you all the time. And I refuse to continue to sit around while you hurt the people closest to me." She mumbled with a disappointed look on her face.

Before I could say anything else, she walked past me back upstairs.

I took a deep breath standing there where she left me. "Oh my fuckin' goddd man!"

I wasn't even hungry anymore.

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