Blind Thoughts

Chapter 37

"Jason,I was looking for you!" She says sitting next to me,"are you drunk?!"
"I think I am," I say scratching the back of my head as if I'm not sure when I know myself that I am very much aware about it.
"Since when did you start drinking ?! Looks like jasmine was a bad influence after all," she glares at me

I chuckle
"Well,speaking about jasmine..." I cut my sentence off trying to make it easier for me to end things with her.

"What about her?"she looks at me ;confused
"I saw her but I didn't know it was her because of the mask,alcohol and music. Then she called out my name and you said when you say my name I should kiss you. So....... I did," I say,that was pretty easy to say I wonder why I was stressing

Nicole's expression shifted;angry.
"What the fuck Jason? It looks like you and your ex are still at it. It was like I was a fool for trusting you. You lied to me that you loved me!"

"I didn't lie about anything,if you don't believe then it's your own fucking fault! I've told you the truth Nicole! I did love you. The feelings kept on building up just for you but no! I'm just a fool for trying to prove myself to you that I care about you!!" Looks like the a Anger in me made me sober or something

"Jason! You know I cared about you right ?" She asks moving closer to me
"You know I told you about jasmine and Andrew?"

"So! How the hell does that make sense. You stupid boy. You really think I don't care about you?! If I didn't if I never used to even talk to you! I'm anti social and I have social anxiety I'd be fine alone either way!" She says as her eyes become glossy

The way she said she's anti social and has social anxiety as if it's a huge flex or something. Personally I think it's quite sad and I feel for her.
"Nicole,I'm sorry. But listen I don't know if this will work out. I think we jumped into things too fast." I say putting my hand on her shoulder but she shoves it away! Well,damn

"Don't touch me Jason ! Just know one thing,if you go back to your stupid ex and you two break up,don't come back to me. I'll still have feelings for you but you're toxic Jas-" I smash my lips against hers and rub the back of her head with my fingers while my other hand gently chokes her neck.
"No, jason" she says breaking out of the kiss.

"I just w-wanted to say goodbye and I'll miss you," I say,standing up. Looks like I am still drunk.

"Now by kissing me ?!" She furrows her brows

"I-it's the last time I'm ever going to do it so it was like a farewell m-message from me to you,"I say unfastening the buttons of my shirt due to the heat in this room. "Goodbye Nicole,I enjoyed these past few days we were together."

"Fuck off. For your own information we go to the same college so I don't know why you're saying goodbye as if you're about to die or something and it has been two weeks since we were together for fucks sake get shit right,Jason." She also stands up and continues scolding me but it was like my brain shut down or something. I couldn't clearly understand what she was saying anymore!

But it sure does bring back memories like when Jasmine broke up with me! A lot Days have past by since that incident. I remember crying about it but it's like she just gave me even more trust issues! Great.

"Listen to me!!" Nicole shouts as she slaps me across my face to a point whereby my head turned slightly.
I even forgot that she was talking to me.

"Tsk,Nicole! That hurt," I grin. However,Nicole's glares at me as her eyes look extra glossy.
"Hey,I'm sorry. I know I've messed up big time but I hope you can forgive me,"I say putting my hand on her shoulder

"Is my pain your freedom?!"she Ask,"because you keep on hurting me. When you know yourself that I am the one for you!"

"R-right person,wrong timing" I kiss her cheek,"I'm sorry once more,we'll be talking if you want"

I glanced at her sidelong and smiled: a goodbye smile if such even exist. With that I left. I feel like an asshole for treating her like that. When all she did was try to show me the love that I struggled to find. Sigh.
I feel like I am about to faint or vomit,I'm never drinking alcohol again. It will be the death of me, I swear.