Risk // Sebastian Sallow

Chapter 19: Scones

I smiled up at him. "And I'm glad you're here."

"How are you feeling today?" He asked gently.

"I'm feeling really good. Want to see what they did to me?" I said with a grin.

Sebastian scoffed a small laugh and sat up slightly, giving me space, "Alright."

I lifted my night gown and revealed the stitches in my gut and upper legs. I was grateful for magic because they were mostly healed, they told me the stitches were a precaution.

"Shit, Olive!" Sebastian's face dropped as he traced his fingers along my stomach, feeling every stitch, "I can't believe I did that to you."

"Sebastian, you didn't do anything to me. It was an accident and perhaps I should have held onto the wand better. But you can't blame yourself. I am here alive and well." I said, taking one of his hands with my own and running my thumb along the top of it.

"I just feel awful. I thought I had lost you. When you collapsed to the floor, I looked at the mandrake and thought you were dead."

"Wait, how did you not faint from the mandrake?"

"I saw the pot start to crack and covered my ears. I was about to call out to you but I was too late. It was my fault."

"If you say it's your fault one more time, I swear-"

"I know, I'm sorry. I just feel guilty. I manage to get everyone close to me hurt or killed. My parents, Anne, Solomon. It's why I can't be with you. Because I am scared it will happen to you too. And it already has."

"What are you trying to say, Sebastian?" I said frustration overwhelming me.

"I'm saying..." he sighed, "I can't be with you, be close to you. Because this always happens. I have to close myself off because I don't think my heart can take anymore loss and pain."

"So, what is all of this, then? I understand you don't want a relationship and I've come to terms with that, but now you're telling me you can't even be best friends with me again? Why are you here then, in my bed, cuddling me, kissing me? Why are you leading me on?" I felt myself growing upset.

"I just... I..."

"You are using me for your sexual desires, is that it? I'm just some object you can have sex with whenever you like? That's why you're all over me?"

"No, it's not like that-"

"Bullshit, Sebastian! You don't want to be with me, you can't be close to me but you'll happily have your hands all over my body!"

"Olive, please, I-"

"I think you should go, Sebastian. Don't bother coming back." I said, turning my head away from him.

Sebastian had climbed off the bed now and I could see he was trying to find something to diffuse the situation, but I was livid.

"Just go!" I said, pointing towards the door. I was sitting up now despite the pain in my stomach.

Sebastian grabbed his robe without saying a word and threw it over his shoulder, leaving quickly.

I threw my head back onto the bed and began to cry. I'd pulled on the stitches in my rage and now my heart hurt too. How could I be so blind to not realise I was being used? And now it was too late to go back. I'd already given him all of me. I was tainted.

As much as I begged Nurse Blainey to let me go, she told me two more days at least.

"You've just had surgery! I'll get your class work sent up if you're bored." She said.