There would be many words to describe Roman Cecilio, but one would be: malicious. Don of the Italian Mafia with no remorse, but what happens when he meets a woman and her daughter?
Jasmine Torres shelters her daughter from any and all harm, hiding...
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Kissing Jasmine's shoulder gently as my hand trails down her naked body, I can't help but think of how things will go today. Ansley's funeral was the last thing I thought would ever happen.
Jasmine and I held each other last night, crying into each other's arms. She was trying to back out of it but I knew that she would regret not going.
Jasmine grunts and pushes her face further into her pillow to hide. She's going to need me to be strong for her, that's mostly why I let myself cry last night because if I start, it won't stop and that's the last thing I want to happen today.
"Come on, mama. The service starts in an hour." I mumble into her ear, feeling her body tense before she sits up.
I stay behind her as she showers, drys her hair and gets dress. Her outfit is just a black turtleneck and black slacks. She doesn't bother with makeup.
Soon enough, we are sitting in the car in front of the cemetery. I can already see the large crowd forming around Ansley's and Ralph's spot, making my chest tighten. This makes it real, even though we've been living it.
Jasmine's hand tightens around mine as I move to get out of the car, making me look at her confused.
"I-I can't." She stutters as her voice breaks. My face softens at the sight of her so vulnerable. She hasn't left the estate since everything happened so I understand her hesitation.
"I know but you need too. You need to do this for Ansley and Ralph. Show the people around us that you are strong." I tell her, cupping her face as her watery brown eyes bounce between mine.
She shakes her head. "I'm not, I'm not strong. I-I can't do this, Roman. There's so many people, I-"
"Jasmine, breathe." I tell her gently, watching as she takes a few deep breaths. "You are the most strongest person I know. Do not feed me some bullshit lies because you know I won't believe them. No one can go what you've been through and still be sane. You are so strong."
I kiss her forehead as I wrap my arms around her. I can feel her hands grabbing the back of the collar on my suit as if it'll ground her and I let her.
After a few moments, I can feel her chest fall into a normal breathing pattern and I grab her hand once more and help her out of the black SUV. She places her large black sunglasses over her eyes and grips my hand tightly as we walk.
Her tense body doesn't relax as we walk pass the rows of people and because I can see her eyes behind her sunglasses from the angle I'm looking at her, I'm able to see that her eyes are bouncing to each person nervously.
She use to be able to leave our home and be able to relax but now she can't. I'll never get that Jasmine back but I'd rather have my agoraphobia Jasmine than no Jasmine at all. I highly doubt, I'll be able to get her to leave the estate after this.
Jasmine and I stand at the front, beside Tanner and Luis, where we can see both caskets and I can feel Jasmine push herself into my side as she starts to tremble.
"We meet here today to honor the life of Ansley Torres and Ralph Williams. We give thanks to their lives and ask God to bless them now that their time has come to an end."
Jasmine wanted a preacher to do the service. She wanted someone who believed that they were in a better place so that she could believe it.
My hand rubs Jasmine's side as she tries to stay completely still even as her body shakes tremendously. She's doing the best she can and I will do the rest for her.
"For Ansley Torres and Ralph Williams, the journey is now beginning. But for us; there is loss, grief, and pain. Every..."
The preacher's voice seems to have slowly fade out as I keep my focus on Jasmine. This is too much for her, I should've known but I also would have known that she would have regretted not going.
She blinks heavily as I hold most of her weight and it's almost like her legs can't hold her.
It's almost like I can see her becoming a new person; the strong woman I met nearly a year ago had become this anxious and small woman, the blunt and aggressive woman has became quiet.
How did life come to this?
"Their lives matter to us all. It is important for us to collectively acknowledge and accept that the world has fundamentally changed with their passing. We are all grieving. Life will not be the same, nor should it be." The preacher finishes and a few people go up there to help move the caskets until Ralph goes in then Ansley.
A sob leave Jasmine's mouth as she flinches from the sound of dirt hitting the wooden caskets.
How did life come to this? ——————————————————————— Jasmine hasn't spoken since the beginning of the funeral.
At the end, our men and women walked up to us to offer their condolences. Jasmine kept her dark sunglasses on and tuned everyone and everything out. I held her trembling body to mine as I responded to each person that walked up to us. People from our mafia came, people from allied mafia's came, the Spanish cartel sent over 12 dozen people to guard the funeral.
They barely met Ralph but word must've gotten out that this has taken a toll on my mafia. I can't say that we were hiding it, we stopped all shipments, all tradings, all missions. My mafia was in mourning.
Now I'm in bed with a Jasmine beside me, staring numbly at the ceiling as I stare at her. What I would give to know what she is thinking. What I would give to take away her pain.
"Do you want to eat?" I ask softly, playing with the hem of my shirt on her body.
She shakes her head.
"Do you want to take a shower?" I ask, trying to get something out of her whether it was her cussing at me or breaking down. Either way, I didn't care because she needed to let that out.
She shakes her head.
"Do you want to sleep?" I press, finally getting something other than a head shake. Her head flops towards me as her eyes fill with unshed tears.
"Am I a bad mother?" She whispers, making my eyebrows furrow.
"No! Fuck no, mama. You are amazing mother. You've done everything you can. None of this is your fault, none of it." I tell her as desperation seeps into my voice. I'm desperate for her to hear the words coming out of my mouth and believing them.
"Good mothers don't let their child get buried." She whimpers as she closes her eyes while a few tears escape.
"That isn't true. The difference between a good mother and a bad mother is their love. The love of a good mother nearly kills her by the death of her child. The love of a bad mother is nonexistent." My words come out as a mere whisper.
"I'm not a bad mother?" She whispers as her eyes open once more and I couldn't stop myself from pulling her to my body.
"You're not a bad mother." I confirm, kissing the crown of her head before resting my chin on the top of her head.
