Bittersweet (Completed)

20: Life

Chapter Twenty

Karen Dem's P.O.V.

"Eliza is really sick, Karen. I'm sorry," Soph said apologetically.

I frowned, but decided to hide my disappointment. "It's alright, Soph. I'll be fine. Just take care of baby Eliza."

We talked for a bit and then she hung up. I sat down on the couch and stared at the wall, counting silently in my head until Conan will be back.

After a while of killing time, I decided to go make some dinner so it'll be ready in time Conan gets back.

I went into the kitchen and started whipping up some food that I know he loves.

I smiled at the thought of his carefree smile and decided to use that to distract me from thoughts.

I turned on some music, not too loud and not too low.

Then I started chopping up vegetables for a salad first before I continued to cook the main dish.

After I finished cooking, the doorbell rang and I went to go get it, smiling and thinking it was Conan.

"You're finally ba-"

My eyes opened wide as I saw who was standing there.

Darren.

What the hell was he doing here? Why is he here? What does he want?

"Karen," he said, taking a step closer to me.

I took a step back unconsciously and his face showed hurt and he stopped.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, confused.

He looked at me from head to toe and his gaze stayed on my stomach for a little too long before they finally looked up at my face again.

"I just wanted to see you. To tell you that I'm sorry for cheating on you. I just can't stop thinking about you and every time that I do think about you, it brings back all this guilt and it's killing me. It's killing me because I really did love you. And I still do. You're always on my mind. I just wanted to come check up on how you were doing," he confessed, raising his hand slowly about to touch my cheek but I moved aside so he couldn't reach me.

"Thank you for saving me. And everything was in the past. So let's just leave it at that. Have a good day," I said, turning to close the door.

His arm shot out and stopped it from closing.

"Karen, please. Hear me out. I miss you. Please come back to me. The baby can be ours. I'll treat you better than Conan ever can," he pleaded.

I glared at him with so much hatred as he said that. "Leave."

"Come on, baby. I'll even prove how much I love you to you. Believe me, please. I want you back," he said desperately.

I shook my head and was about to close the door again in his face but I wasn't expecting what he was about to do.

The next thing I knew, rough lips were on mine and I was trying to push him back with all the strength that I could muster.

"Get off me," I yelled, pushing him away and slapping him right in the face.

His head turned due to the force but I didn't care.

Tears streamed down my face and I shut the door in his face, locking it and making sure it was secure before I pressed my back to the door and slowly slipped down from the wall to the ground.

Who did Darren think he was? How can he just think that he can come here and tell me all those things and expect me to go with him into the sunset? And then when I refused, he kissed me.

I pressed my fingers to my lips and tried to wipe off the memories of the forced kiss.

Throughout all my memories with Darren, he taught me one thing: to protect my heart.

I let myself get drunk every night to erase all the heartbreak and memories of him and me. To make myself get over him and say that he isn't worth it.

And he isn't.

Then that's when Conan showed up.

Protecting me from all the womanizers in the club. Trying to keep me safe from people getting their hands on me. He saved me from Darren at Eliza's birthday party. He protected me from his loved ones. He gave everything up for the two of us.

I know that it's selfish of me to want him to stay with me forever, but now that reality sunk in, I don't think that I'll be able to keep him with me forever.

His family needs him. And me. Well, I need him too. But I don't want to be the reason why he and his family are broken. I don't want him to exclude himself from them.

I felt more tears stream down my cheeks.

Conan deserves somebody better. I'm just me. And not good at anything. And I should leave.

For real this time.

I should leave as far away as I can go and just to make everything easier, I should just disappear from here.

I felt my heart clench at the thought and shook my head.

Even if I'm thinking this, I know that I won't be able to do it.

Conan Russell taught me one thing: to love.

And I love him more than anything in this world, but I do not love him enough to let him go.

And honestly, even if I did love him enough to let him go, I wouldn't. He was the reason why I survived my heartbreak. He was the reason why I smile. The reason why I fell in love again.

And I will never throw that amazing feeling away just so somebody else can be happy.

Now it's my turn to be happy. Whether those people like it or not, I will continue with my life with the people that I love.

Because life is about those moments where you feel like you're on top of the world. Like nobody can beat you or top you.

Life is about moments where you feel alive and loved.

Life is about us.

It doesn't matter if it's bittersweet. If I was to go through all I had to go through to be with Conan, I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Life is about those moments that takes your breath away. And every time that I look at him, that's exactly how I feel. And it makes me realize how lucky I am and how much I love him.

Conan Russell taught me how to love even if it can be bittersweet.

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Yeah, Karen! Kick Darren's ass! And don't overthink too much, love. You know that you deserve happiness. XD

AN EARLY UPDATE AS AN APOLOGY. FINALLY BACK AND WILL BE BUSY THIS WEEKEND BECAUSE IT'S MY BROTHER'S WEDDING. BUT YEAH! WILL BE BACK DURING THIS WEEK;) STAY AWESOME, LOVES! <3

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