Capitol TV

Episode 27 - NO MORE FANBOYS

I have a feeling today's gonna be a long day. Anyway, by popular request (one pesky fanboy who won't shut up), our guest today is Ian, the District 3 tribute in the 74th Games! Oh, and Cato, because one of these questions mentions him, so...

Cato: Wait, it only mentions me? I don't want to be here!

Ian: I don't really want him here, either. And I normally go by my middle name, Chase.

Me: Well, your birth certificate says Ian, so...

Ian: Ian Chase. And does your birth certificate really say 'Ellie'?

Me: Um...maybe...

Cato: Which means no.

Ian: Didn't think so. Whatever, you can call me Ian.

Me: Gracias. Anyway, we've got several questions, all from KieranTheWayland. He's obsessed with you.

Ian: Oh dear.

Cato: Wow, that stinks. I've got this fangirl who's obsessed with me. She's a psychopath.

OAV: I TAKE THAT AS A COMPLIMENT!

Cato: Is she always going to be here?

Me: We can't get her to leave, so yes. First question! How did you reactivate the mines?

Ian: Oh, that's simple. I just took the ventricilical wire and connected it to the retriumiuos on the left side of the mine, then I pried the appletcher out of the carnitam and replaced it with the floritation.

Me: Oh...ok...simple...

Ian: Incredibly simple.

Me: Right. Anyway, do you resent Cato?

Ian: Yeah, a little...

Cato: Listen, man, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I don't blame you, though, I would resent me too.

Ian: At least we can be in the same room as each other and carry on a conversation, unlike some other people I've seen on here. Like Thresh and your girlfriend.

Cato: Hey, that's all on Thresh.

Ian: I quite agree.

Me: Shall me move on?

Ian: Sure.

Me: Was getting your neck snapped painful?

Ian: In what universe would that not be painful?

Me: Exactly. Next! Kieran says: "BRING DA D3 MALE TRIBUTE TO THE SHOW!!!! HE IS MY IDOL!.. I pray to him at night and sleep with a teddy of him... He make me happy."

Ian: What the...?

Cato: Wow...that's almost worse that Alexa.

Ian: I think I am scarred for life now...that's creepy...a teddy?

Me: Oh, don't worry, it gets worse.

Ian: WHAT?!

Me: You'll see! Now, who would you have home out with in the 74th Games?

Ian: Hmm...probably Clove...

Cato: WHAT?!

Ian: Just kidding! Probably Demetria.

Me: Who?

Ian: District 9 girl. She's pretty nice. I got to know her during training.

Me: Has she been revived?

Ian: You know, I don't know. I never asked.

Me: Well, I wouldn't know. I guess one of the viewers could as Plutarch Heavensbee...anyway, next! Kieran wants to know if he can lick you.

Ian: Lick me?

Me: Lick you. He wants to know if you taste like chocolate and chicken like you do in his dreams.

Ian: This guy belongs in an insane asylum.

Cato: You should see Ellie when she's fangirling.

Me: Hey, I haven't killed anyone.

Cato: Yet.

Ian: Lets move on...

Me: Ok! Kieran says to tell you that wedding is being arranged.

Ian: *suspicious* Whose...?

Me: Yours and Kieran's...

Ian: WHAT?!

Kieran: Surprise!

Me: Oh no...

Cato: I'm out. *runs off*

Me: How'd you get in here? I THOUGHT YOU GUYS SAID NO MORE FANS COULD GET ON STAGE!

Peacekeeper: Alexa tried to run for it!

Kieran: *holding a bouquet out to Ian* Today, all my dreams are coming true!

Ian: Get away from me!

Me: SOMEONE GET HIM OFF THE STAGE!

Kieran: *tackles Ian*

Ian: IM NOT GAY! GET OFF ME!

Kieran: You can be gay! We can get married! Let me love you!

Ian: NO!

Me: YOU'RE ALL GOING TO BE FIRED! GET THIS FANBOY OFF THE STAGE!

Ian: HE LICKED ME!

Kieran: Aw, man, you don't taste like chocolate or chicken.

Ian: No freaking way! I had no idea! *pushes Kieran away*

Peacekeepers: *drag Kieran offstage*

Kieran: WE'RE STILL GETTING MARRIED!

Me: HAHAHAHAHANOPE!

Ian: WHATS GOING ON?!

Alexa: Oh no, she's going fangirl...

Ian: Who are you?!

Alexa: Name's Alexa. I'm a professional fangirl. I can handle this. *walks over to Ellie*

Me: *spastically fangirling*

Alexa: Calm down, it's ok. *glances at Ian* What set her off?

Ian: I don't know...but I think I might need therapy.

Alexa: Haha, don't we all?

Ian: Wait, aren't you that insane girl who's obsessed with Cato and Clove?

Alexa: Um...maybe...

Ian: Why aren't you fangirling?

Alexa: I don't fangirl over you.

Offstage Kieran Voice: I DO!

Ian: Wait, are the cameras still rolling?

Alexa: Shoot, yeah, ok, um, bye? Question your comments, I mean comment your questions, and don't vorget to fote! Forget to vote! I mean, whatever! Just go!