Guess who's back! If you said Oprah, you're wrong! It's meeeeeeee!
Crowd: *silent*
Me: Oh, gee, thank you. *sarcasm*
Effie: Just ask us the questions.
Me: All right. Please welcome our guests today, Haymitch and Effie!
Crowd: *goes wild*
Effie: Thank you!
Haymitch: *mumbles something about ducks*
Me: Is he drunk?
Effie: Yes...
Me: *sigh* All right. First question: How are you?
Effie: Well, I-
Haymitch: Do you know where I can keep my duck?
Me: Your...your duck...?
Haymitch: *holds up nothing* H-his name...his name is Henry...and he loves c-crackers.
Me: All right...
Effie: Ignore him. As I was saying-
Haymitch: HENRY LOVES CRACKERS!
Effie: *sigh* Anyway-
Haymitch: CRACKERS! *pounds chair*
Effie: *gasp* That is mahogany!
Haymitch: *gets up and falls over*
Peacekeepers: *drag Haymitch off the stage* He'll be back in a few minutes.
Me: Um...alright...
Effie: Anyway. Other than the drinking problem, we are going perfectly spectacular.
Me: That's great! Any news?
Effie: Well...we're engaged! *holds up hand with ring on it*
Crowd: Awww! *cheers*
Me: Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!
Haymitch: *walks back* I've never gotten sober that fast.
Me: Nice to see you, again.
Haymitch: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Ask the questions so I can go take a nap.
Me: All right! The question is: IS EFFIE PREGNANT!?
Haymitch: I hope not. We certainly haven't done any baby-making together.
Effie: *horrified* Do I look pregnant?!
Me: No, of course not!
Effie: Good. And no. I am not pregnant. I haven't done any "baby-making" with anyone.
Haymitch: Thank goodness.
Me: That's all for today! Comment your questions and vote! Bye!
YOU ARE READING
Capitol TV
FanfictionHello, Capitol citizens! My name is Ellie Spark, and this is Capitol TV! Here, you can see private interviews with your favorite Hunger Games characters, and ask them questions! There are also live announcements from the President, concerning every...
