Lessons in love

chapter 20- when will this get better?

"Oh..."

"Yeah I know. Oh. I was terrified he had gone off and would never come back but he just went to clear his head. He still hasn't told me where he went or what he did, I think he was very upset but anyway he came home after a while and we had a chat about it all. I've never seen him in that way before....he literally shut down"

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Coming to sit next to her, Joe's head rested on diannes shoulder, her arms wrapping around him.
The complete silence between them was awkward. Neither of them wanted to say anything, especially dianne as she could see how upset joe was. He had come back in the door, tears in his eyes. It wasn't often dianne saw him like that which just showed her how he really was feeling. She knew there was alot going on in his head but for him to be acting like this indicated there was much more going on for him.

"I'm sorry I walked out on you like that"
He spoke quietly.

"Its ok, you were upset. You wanted time to yourself and I was there in that moment. You needed to get away for whatever reason"
She told him. She wanted him to know she wasnt angry, she just wanted to help so they could be happy together. There was no way on this earth they would be happy apart, that had been made apparent when they had broken up.

"I was just thinking about alot and I didn't know what to do"
He confessed.

"That's ok. It's ok to be confused about your feelings joe. What were you thinking about?"
She asked him.

"Just alot about you...."

"What about me?"

"I care about you so much because....I dont want to say those three words but you're literally perfect. Yeah, I know were not happy at the moment, neither of us are and that's hard. I dont want to see you sad but even though you are I cant not look at you and know you're made for me. And that's tricky to understand because if we were made for eachother then why arent we happy?"
He explained.

"Because we both made some stupid mistakes joe and were trying to heal from that with the added pressure of a baby being thrown into it all. That's why this is so hard"
She told him.

"I know...and that's what I care about. That's why I'm so protective. I want us to heal so we can have a future. So that we can be a family. I care so much about this baby. I know I reacted badly at first by my god di, there is nothing more I want than to have a family with you and I'm trying so hard to make you happy so that you'll be ok in eight months time"

"And this is the thing joe. You dont need to make me happy. I'm only happy  if you are and your primary focus is to make sure I'm happy. You cant do that unless you make yourself feel better"
She said.

"I know but I'm worried about you"
He told her.

She thought for a moment. She didn't know what this was. She hadn't seen him like this before ever. The tone in which he was talking, his body language, everything about it seemed different.