WEAPON OF GOD :: Mahabharat

CH.73. HOMECOMING

I won't lie, I did sacrifice a lot of human lives for this before coming up with the final plan. I replaced my energy with babies, and lived out lives of strangers, just so I can go forward in time. But when we still couldn't reach past the Blitz, we knew that we needed to take a leap of faith.

I thus, was born as Madhav Ikshana, in the year 1970, and I searched for your clone in this world. 

But why, you may ask. Why YOUR avatar in this world and not just some random woman?

It is because I believed you would be angry if I sacrificed someone else's life for this. Even Ren agreed, so we went along with the plan. But don't worry, Radhika wasn't harmed. I looked through every other possibility, and I swear I gave her a better life than each one of them.

I hope, the books assured you that Radhika lived a life full of love and care, and we had five children together. The children carried on the lineage, the knowledge, and if you're reading this letter Evi, I guess they succeeded in their job.

I loved them unconditionally Evi, I never thought of them as just cogs of wheel in my plan. So I plead, to not bear any guilt over their upbringing.

None of this is your fault Evi. Whatever happened, it was all necessary. 

My kids are my soul Evi, and just like Rudra, I loved them immensely. 

And about Radhika, she was just a normal human being. Don't worry, she wasn't Lakshmi incarnate. But I loved her immensely too. I was grateful everyday to be in her presence, to talk to her, to be with her, as her friend and husband. I don't know, how much it is creeping you out, but I assure you, I loved her and only her as Madhav. 

None of it was an act Evi. It was all real. So please, don't feel guilty. You didn't snatch anyone's reality from them. It just happened, and it happened because it was necessary.

I am writing this, as I am taking my last breaths, Evi. For all those 70 years, till my wife was alive, the memories of being Krishna were concealed. So just like Ram, I didn't know I was a deity. I loved Radhika, the way Ram loved Sita. And yes, I know you must hate Ram too, but I did better this time didn't I? I didn't abandon Radhika, not that I could have either way. She was my better half all these years, and she will remain so as I exist.

And lastly, yet again, I implore you

Don't blame yourself.

Evi, its your right to be sad, to feel depressed and aggravated., but you shouldn't let those feelings consume you. You are just a few steps from freedom, so don't give up now. 

Remember, I am always cheering for you, and so are many others.

Yours,  Dumb Fucking Asshole of a God,

Krishna '

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Evi didn't hyperventilate, but her mind was erratic. Riri was scared, and was ready to pump Evi with sedatives if she lashed out. Afterall, drugs was what keeping Evi alive at this point, with her muscles almost decaying and her mind half dead. 

" Miss Evi..." Riri called her, unsure about her reactions.

" I did not deserve this Riri" Evi mumbled out, " I did not deserve any of this"

" What Miss Evi... what are you talking about?" Riri asked.

" I did not deserved to be turned into a mindless soldier.... I did not deserve to be shot by my own soul.... I DID NOT DESERVE TO BE LEFT ALONE..... I DID NOT DESERVE TO BE CURSED AT! TO BE HATED! TO BE JAILED! TO BE CUFFED TO THAT GODDAMN FAMILY! I DID NOT DESERVE ANY OF THAT!!!!!!...." Evi cried out, the letter scrunching up in her hands. She curled up in a ball, her tears wetting the bed sheets. " WHY!!! WHY DID ALL OF THEM LEAVE ME!!! WHY COULDN'T THEY WAIT FOR ME!!"