It Was Never A Competition (Altarieno Series#1)

Chapter 45

Chapter 45

I was always skeptical of the thought that... broken hearts have somehow a place to go while they are still broken. On the contrary, I look up to the inventor of that idea as I had believed it one time.

But really... where do broken hearts go?

Siguro ang masasabi ko lang... it is fixed— it won't go anywhere. Literally, iisa lang ang puso natin. If it is broken... ganoon na iyon habang buhay. Sa ayaw at sa gusto mo, dadalhin mo na iyon kahit saan ka pa magpunta.

Simple happiness can't be proof that you are already healed. In fact, you will never be healed from a heartbreak. At some point, you won't be able to avoid and hide the fact na parang... may something pa rin na bumabagabag sa'yo kahit sa tingin mo ay wala ka nang problema. Maging affected ka man o hindi, the cause of the heartbreak was still engraved to your heart.

Anong magagawa mo throughout the years? Well... you just have to wait until the pain dies—which seemed to be impossible, in my case.

Mapait akong napangiti nang makita ang result ng aking qualifying exam. If I was a normal student—or at least, my old self, paniguradong magtatatalon ako sa saya.

I just got 80 percent as my score.

In-expect ko naman na ang resultang iyan before dahil wala akong ginawa kung hindi lunurin ang sarili ko sa pag-aaral. Iyon lang naman kasi ang kaya kong gawin, kaya... mas itinodo ko pa.

From my peripheral vision, I saw how my classmates almost died of heart attack. Sila lang ang mga nakapasang estudyante sa course namin. The rest... they have to transfer to another course. Nakakalungkot man, pero... that's reality. Kahit anong hirap ang maranasan mo sometimes, it won't be enough to get what you truly want.

"The department advised us to show to official results. Hindi ito nai-release noong mga junior pa kayo dahil nagkaroon ng konting conflict under your program. Nonetheless... alam naman ninyo kung sino ang pumasa at sinong hindi beforehand, right?"

"Yes!" We chorused.

"So... from this batch, ang highest passing rate is 90 percent. Sino ulit iyon? Palakpakan niyo nga!"

Tumayo si Perry, ang pinakamatalinong classmate ko. Ngiting-ngiti siya habang nagpapasalamat sa aming lahat.

His smile... sobrang nakakahawa. Even if we are not close, pakiramdam ko ay sobrang proud ko para sa kaniya.

Well... I'm happy for everyone, technically. Right now, kahit pinipilit pa rin ako ng parents ko to top everything, ang priority ko na lang ay makapasa ako. Hinahayaan ko na lang sila na bigyan ako ng standard dahil napapagod na rin ako to keep up with it.

Sino ba ang hindi gugustuhing maging top one? That's everyone's dream. But all through my life, na-realize ko na... you can't always excel. You can't guarantee that you are the best among all people in this world. There's always someone better than you—and it's fine. Hindi lang naman dapat sa iisang matter naka-focus ang buhay. After all, we just want one thing in the end—to survive.

There is still life outside school. Hindi lang sa academics iikot ang buhay natin. May mas malalaking bagay pa tayong haharapin that's not related with it. We are only fed up with the thought that our worth is based on how well do in school but... it's not really it. It should never be in our minds in the first place.

"Class!" Anang prof namin bago kami magsialis ng room. We are not supposed to have any classes for today kasi. Nagbigay lang talaga siya ng official result for our qualifying exam. "I will also announce things about your internship! Listen carefully!"

I went straight to our canteen after our professor dismissed us. As I have said, wala namang klase kaya wala akong rason para mag-stay doon. Dito na lang ako since medyo nagugutom na rin ako.