Tarzan (Rated R)

Chapter 19 - Intensity

Why did I think getting any sleep tonight would have been easy?

Inconspicuously I toss and turn making sure to keep my movements to a minimal, trying not to disturb the beautiful man that lays on the floor in front of my bed. Darkness has completely swallowed my room absorbing every light from even the steepest of corners, the darkness is never my friend, it welcomes all my nightmares and right now my mind plays one face repeatedly.

It must be nice having powerful parents, I don't know who is more fucked up in that family, the mom for allowing her son to be a possible rapist/ murderer or the father for praising his son to continue his ways.

I can't run to my mom with these problems, it'll just be worse. What a bother, sighing I slowly turn my body to face the ceiling, my inner monologue goes wild, would this be the episode where the main character is torn, no wait

- she would be torn over who to pick in her love triangle-, kind of hard to picture myself in the same shoes when the when the men in my life all want me dead.

Would my readers want to read that? Just as the thought of writing came a silver - whitish flash that caught my eye. The urge to walk over made my fingers jitty, yet the sleeping man on the floor kept me still, he is so quiet I can't even hear him breathe. I wonder how does he sleep? Does he sleep like a bear? Would that even turn me off? As always questions that itch to be answered.

A full week, a week he will be living under the same roof as me, a week of being in the same vicinity ... in the same bed ... room. I want to slam the pillow on my face but fear that would be a drastic move, why couldn't I just think it thro - oh no, I was scared and to be honest I have never felt safer than before just by him being near me. Visions of his blood on my hands now invade all my thoughts, darkening my fantasies, Kevin will do worse mostly in vengeance of shattering his pride, Rowan does not deserve that, I will protect him the way he protected me.

An idea struck me then, what if I wrote about Kevin into my book? The idea was so dangerous my heart fell to my ass, everyone already knows how corrupted his parents are, but do they really know the abuse? The lovely idea soon faded realizing than I would also be exposing Philip in the process, Justine is no fool, she will figure it out, the same way she will figure out who 'Roman" is in my book, that might be my dead giveaway on second thought, - every time the man is close to me I forget how to breathe-. It would save her from a piece of garbage like Philip, but I couldn't bear to watch Justine cover her pain. A slight movement at the foot of the bed made me freeze.

Oh, God he moved.

This is a new reality for me, Rowan is actually here. I want to see him, but what if he isn't sleeping? No, I just want to check on his wounds is all, yea that's it. I caught multiple cramps trying to arrow my body without making heavy movements, knowing him he will probably wake up to see if I am ok if he senses that many moves, he is always so gentle with me, I probably looked like the cringe emoji trying to be as steady as possible.

Picking up my phone to open the flash, it is way too dark in my room, I can hear myself shuddering from anticipation, my heart drumming in my ear canal, lowering the flash to a bearable light I slowly peeked over the bed.

The sight I was met with made me swoon, a face of an angel, relaxed eyes closed softly letting those voluminous lashes fan his cheeks, though relaxed his glossed lips remain plump, he is indeed asleep as if no care in the world, that should have been enough for me yet chivalrously my eyes couldn't help itself. Allowing them to travel more than they needed to, there he lies, on his backside, large toned biceps beautifully flexed while his right arm hooked behind his head, left arm rests peacefully on his toned abdomen, thick green veins decorate the callous of the top of his hand, soft rise and fall of his chest as he breathes softly, my eyes linger on his body slowly until it leads to the covered manhood, large outline made me swallow a thick liquid that almost choked me, Oh my word.