Batim oneshots

God of Luck (Shant)

(3rd person)

Grant had an unlucky life. He had bad parents, no friends, and no one that loved him. He had a shitty job where he was overworked. He never got any sleep. And he overall hated life. He almost seemed to have a cloud of bad luck around him. Like he shattered all the mirrors, walked under all the ladders, ran into a hundred black cats, everything. He was ultimately low on luck.

Today was one of those gloomy days. He woke up and realised he was out of coffee, found out his favourite tie was destroyed in the wash, and he didn't catch the bus on time. At least it wasn't a work day. So he got dressed and went to a local coffee shop and ordered a black coffee. They took a long time to make it, were really rude to him, and they spelled his name wrong. And after all of that his drink was cold. But he just drank it in spite and walked down the sidewalk.

He passed by a small shop while on his walk. It was a black building with green decor, and a sign that read 'Emporium of Relics' in cursive and gold. He figured he might as well go in, maybe buy something. But with his luck something would break and he would have to pay for it anyways.

(Grant's Pov)
I walked into the small shop, instantly being met with the smell of antiques. I looked around and saw a large variety of items, ranging from books to deer skulls. I saw some different items that interested me, things that are luck related and such. Maybe these will cure my bad luck. I went to grab a horseshoe, since those were lucky in Irish culture, but I ended up knocking them all onto the floor.

"Ah, shit-" I said to myself, scrambling to pick them all up. I heard footsteps approaching, which I could only assume was an employee. "I am so sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Hey, it's alright!" A warm voice with an Irish accent spoke up. I looked over and... holy shit... he's fucking cute... The man went to help me pick the horseshoes back up, setting them back on the shelf. "Don't worry, people knock these over a lot."

"Yeah, well still. I knew this would probably happen..." I muttered, going to stand back up. Of course I bumped my head on the shelf. "OW-"

The Irishman laughed a bit as I stood up straight. "You've got pretty bad luck, mate, don't you?"

"Oh, you have NO idea." I said, rubbing the back of my head. "I probably have the worst fucking luck on the planet. I dunno if I'm cursed or what, but I hate it."

"Well, that's pretty unfortunate." He replied, smiling up at me. "If you'd like I might have some things around 'ere that could help you with that."

"Yeah, sure, I'll do anything to stop it at this point." I smiled back, following him as he led me to the front counter. "I'm Grant by the way. What about you?"

"The name's Shawn!" He said while rummaging in some boxes. "You're lucky ya came in here, I'm pretty good when it comes to curing bad luck."

"Really? Well If you manage to cure mine don't be surprised if I get so overjoyed I kiss you." I joked with a small laugh.

"Well, can't say I would be opposed to that." He stated, looking over his shoulder and winking. He then put a small box on the counter, still going through it. "Do you know what you could have done to warrant the bad luck?"

"Unless while I was in the womb I broke a bunch of mirrors, no." I responded, leaning on the counter.

"Well, I'm pretty good with curses, but usually they're caused by something." Shawn remarked. "If I don't know what caused it it'll be harder to cure."

"How often do you deal with people's curses?" I questioned, looking over at the brunette curiously.

"Eh, maybe a few times every century." He said whole-heartedly. "Cured around... three hundred plus?"

"You look my age though, you couldn't have been alive long enough to do that!" I claimed with a smile.

"Hun, you wouldn't believe me if I told you." He grinned as he rummaged through the box further. "I can tell when people have a curse, and you've got a hell of a curse. Right now it might just feel inconvenient, but it could get to be life threatening." He stopped rummaging through the box, groaning in annoyance. "Dammit, nothing here is what I need... Do you mind coming into the back with me? I've got books back there that could help."

"As long as you don't murder me, sure." I complied and followed the shorter man into the back, pushing past a curtain that separated the rooms. Of course I got tangled up in it, before continuing after the Irishman.

He was going through some books on a bookshelf, before pulling one out. "Ahah! This should do the trick!" He motioned me to come sit next to him at a desk while he turned a lamp on. I tried to carefully sit down, but I missed the chair the first time. "Yeesh, it's pretty bad eh?"

"Ya dont say..." I muttered, sitting back in the chair.

We spent a while going over different reasons I may be cursed, and different ways to cure it. Throwing salt over my shoulder, burning incense, protective charms, even that crystal junk. Every time we tested after to see if I was still unlucky. Each time I was. I was starting to lose hope. I would just be unlucky forever.

"Listen, Shawn..." I started with a sigh. "I appreciate you trying to help me, but we should just face it. I can't be cured."

"Every curse has a remedy! We just have to find the right one!" He sounded a bit panicked, flipping through pages. "If we let it stay you might get worse! You could be in danger, Grant!"

"It's fine, I'm used to it by now." I stood up and grabbed my coat, knocking down the coat rack in the process. "Thank you for trying, at least."

"Hey, you can't leave now!" He stuttered a bit, before I heard him slam the book down. "Here! This will work for sure!"

"What is it?" I asked, walking back over.

"Read this passage!" He told me, pointing to one of the paragraphs.

I read over it, a bit baffled he thought it would work. "I have to kiss a god of luck? Shawn, where am I supposed to find one of those? I mean, seriously!"

"How do you think I know so much about luck?" he asked, smiling up at me. "And how do you think I've lived long enough to cure over three hundred curses?"

"What-?" I questioned, shaking my head. "If this is a joke or something, it's funny, but if this whole thing was a ploy to do this-"

"It isn't a ploy, Grant. If you'd like I can show you." he offered.

I sighed, before answering. "Fine. I'll try it. I don't understand this kind of pickup line but-"

I was cut off with his lips on mine. I almost instantly felt my gloom wear away. This felt... amazing. But that's not all I saw. As we were connected he almost started glowing, and I watched him change. Not in a pervy way, mind you, I mean his body changed. He grew what looked to be deer antlers on his head, and his normal clothes were replaced with an outfit that looked like white silk and gold. He had what looked like a tattoo on his arm, that was an array of different luck related things on what looked like a charm bracelet that went up his arm.

When we parted he looked up at me, smiling warmly. "Believe me now, lover boy?"

"Y-yeah..." I stuttered, looking away from him. His outfit was somewhat revealing, and I didn't want to be caught staring at him.

"Well, why don't we test your luck then?" He asked, grabbed a handheld mirror. "If it breaks, I don't know what I'm gonna do with ya. Maybe I'll keep ya at arms length so you don't get hurt."

"U-uh, y-yeah sure..." I yelled at myself mentally for stuttering so much, before shutting my eyes and taking the mirror. But it didn't shatter. I looked at my reflection. My eyebags were gone, and my hair actually looked presentable. "Holy shit-"

"I told you it would work." The brunette teased. He chuckled a bit and fixed my tie up, before asking me "So, what are you gonna do with your new luck?"

"Well, maybe I'll use it..." I started, taking his hand and kissing it like you would a king. "To ask out the god of luck. What do you say?"

He smiled a bit, crossing his arms. "Well, I would say luck is in your favour today."