Ashes (Chris Evans)

Chapter 16

The next two months were difficult to say the least. The constant hours and rehearsals to make the tour go off without a hitch. The album was released two  months ago and the response had been incredible. People loved it. Though, I was being pulled in 50 different directions for interviews and meetings. I'd managed to remain clean and the first night of the tour starts tomorrow. "Phee?" I was snapped out of my thoughts and looked back at Chris's face on the screen. "Yea, sorry. A lot going on." I smiled at him. "Are you okay?" "Yea, I'm perfect. I promise, I haven't done any drugs." At least for now...

"So the tour starts tomorrow?" He asked. I took a deep breath and nodded. "Yea. I'm stressed." "You'll be amazing, Phee. I know it." God I wanted him here. "I wish you were here..." "Me too, Phee. But you'll have Scarlett, Robert, and Seb there with more of the cast. You're other friends too. You're not alone." He said, looking serious. "I know. I miss you. I'm sorry I've been so busy lately."

"Hey. Don't apologize." My eyes met his and that's when I realized he wasn't on set. "Where are you?" I asked. He looked around the room. "Hotel." I nodded. Why wouldn't he be at his Boston home? I pushed that thought out of my mind and focused on him. I looked at the time on my phone and realized it was getting late. "I'm sorry for keeping you up...it must be like 2am there..." "Phee." He cut me off and I stared at him. "I'm fine. You should get some sleep. You have a busy day tomorrow. And then a busy next few months." I let the yawn escape my lips and I nodded. "I miss you." "I miss you too. And Phee, you'll be amazing. You've got this." I smiled and we each blew a kiss at one another. That had become our thing since we had to be apart. We had been going strong for almost four months, a little over two months purely long distance, and Scarlett still didn't know. It was easy to keep it from her since we couldn't exactly be together right now. But, it was time to tell her. I was falling in love with him. If I wasn't already in love with him.

-

I stepped out of the dressing room and took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. I could hear the roar of the crowd outside and my heart started pounding in my chest. It had been two years since my last tour, and I couldn't help but feel like I was about to step into a war zone. I had been clean for months, but the fear of relapse was always there, lurking in the back of my mind. The pressure to perform at my best was overwhelming, and I couldn't help but worry that I would disappoint my fans if I wasn't up to par. As I made my way down the hallway towards the stage, I could feel my hands shaking. I was wearing one of my stage outfits for the first set of songs. A black, sparkly long sleeve bodysuit with tall black lace up platform heels. It was tight in all the right places and made me feel confident but the nerves hadn't dissipated.

The closer I got to the stage, the louder the noise became. The adrenaline was rushing through me, and I couldn't help but feel like I was about to jump off a cliff. People were shouting at me trying to get me in position to appear on stage through the floor. I was starting out with the song Greedy. The songs in the first set would be Greedy, Bad Idea, Bad Blood, Ready for it, Don't Blame Me, and Look What You Made Me Do.

I shook my hands back and forth and took a deep breath. Not only was this the first show but I had cameras following me around for the Netflix documentary. "PLACES!" Someone shouted as I approached the platform. The opening act, Tate McRae, had just finished and I was next. "Ralph..." "You can do this. Scarlett's out there, VIP." I nodded and stood on the platform. "I need to use the bathroom." I spit out at the last possible second. "Phee...We don't have time." I glared at him and he sighed. I ran off the platform and into my dressing room. I immediately threw up in the toilet from nerves. Once I was done I dug through my purse. The white powder glaring at me. I don't even know why I bought it. Probably for comfort. I stuck the bag in my outfit and looked at myself in the mirror. "You're fine."

I made my way back out to the platform and the yelling resumed. "Sing your heart out. Remember to have fun, Phee. This is what you love." Ralph said, putting a comforting hand on my shoulder before handing me the sparkly microphone. The track for Greedy started playing and the platform raised me up onto the stage.

I belted out the first line of the song as I came out of the floor. Finally, once I was onto the stage, I was met with a sea of screaming fans. The stadium was sold out, and the excitement in the air was palpable. The lights were blinding, and I could barely see past the first few rows. As I belted out the lyrics to my first song, I could feel the fear slowly melting away. The music was like a warm blanket, enveloping me in its embrace and giving me the strength to keep going. With each song in my first set of songs, I grew more confident. The fans were singing along, and I could see the joy in their faces. I realized that this was why I did what I did. To bring happiness to others through my music.

The lights cut out and I quickly was back backstage being changed into my second outfit of the night. This set would be my slower, more dreamy songs. High by the Beach, Gasoline, Colors, and Delicate.

Once I was dressed, I was pushed back onto the stage. The stage was dimly lit with a soft, blue hue emanating from the back. As the lights slowly come up, a giant moon is revealed at the center of the stage. It glows softly, casting a gentle light across the stage. The atmosphere is quiet and peaceful, with a sense of introspection and reflection.

As the band begins to play the intro to High by the Beach, a starry night sky appears behind it. The audience is hushed, captivated by the ethereal beauty of the scene. I stand at the center of the stage, dressed in a bright purple two piece outfit and tall purple platform heels.

The first song ends and as I begin to sing Colors, the lighting around me changing to hues of deep blue and gray. As the second set of songs come to a close with Gasoline, the moon and stars slowly fade away, leaving the stage dark. The lights remain off as the beginning of Delicate begins. That's when I see him. In the audience.

Chris.