Ashes (Chris Evans)

Chapter 10

"Kelsea?" I said, shocked that she was standing in front of me. She gave me a warm smile and I sat down in the chair across from her. "What are you doing here?" I asked her.

"Well, we were supposed to record a song together. I'm sorry this happened. My manager tried to get me to feature someone else on the song but I wanted you. So I brought the song to you." She motioned to the table and I saw the portable recording studio set up in the room. "You still want me?" I asked. "Of course. I'm a big fan of your songs. They told me no visitors but I explained it was technically for work and they let me through."

"I'm sorry about everything-" "Hey, you have nothing to be sorry for. I'm just glad you're okay. When you didn't show up and Ralph told me you had been missing, I was really worried. Here's the song." She gave me a genuine smile and passed me a piece of paper. I looked over the song closely, the lyrics hitting way too close to home. "When did you plan to release this?" I asked. "Hopefully soon. Ralph said it could coincide with the launch of your new song...which is incredible by the way. It solidified my decision to have you on this song even more. He played me the demo. So either that or later on when my album releases." I smiled at her, "Thanks." "So, can I ask...Who's it about?" I laughed a little and looked into her eyes. "Honestly, Chris Evans." Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped. "Captain America??" I nodded. "Holy shit." She laughed.

She had a comforting vibe around her. I felt like she was genuine and trustworthy. I was happy she still wanted me for her song.

"Have you guys ever..." I nodded. "Yea, while he had a girlfriend. It makes this song ten times more perfect." I said. She smiled brightly at me, "Let's get started then!"

We sat for hours, recording and talking. She was incredible. We had an instant connection. We bonded over our love of music and the struggles of being a female artist in a male-dominated industry. I was grateful she thought of me for this song and even more grateful for the opportunity to meet her. I was inspired by her kind and genuine personality. I knew we would remain friends.

"I think that does it." She smiled and began playing the song back. "I'm going to get this to my record label. They'll love it." She closed her laptop and smiled at me. "When do you get to leave?" She asked. "After about two weeks I get to go home, but still have to go to NA."

"Well, if you ever need anyone to talk to, please reach out. You have my number from that time I texted, right?" I nodded and smiled at her as she packed up the studio. "Thank you, Kelsea...Seriously. You don't know how much this meant to me." "Don't worry about it. Just focus on you and get better." We exited the small room and a nurse smiled at us. "All done?" We nodded and she showed Kelsea out. I made my way back through the facility and into my room. I missed my bed. I missed my apartment. I missed Scarlett. And oddly...I missed Chris.

-

My two weeks in rehab went by agonizingly slowly but today was the day I could at least go home. Scarlett was picking me up and I would finally get my phone back. During my free time, I managed to get back to my roots of writing music. It was incredibly productive. I found the writing to be therapeutic. I had a clearer head to express myself and my songs weren't being written from a drug induced haze. I poured all of my thoughts and feelings onto the paper. I don't know if these songs will ever make it out, but I hope they will someday.

Through therapy, I was able to confront the root causes of my addiction. The pressures of the music industry, the stress of touring, the feeling of not being good enough. I learned coping mechanisms to deal with these triggers, and how to take care of myself in healthier ways. Though I hated every second of it, it was humbling in a way. I just hope it lasts.

I stood at the front, my duffle bag in hand and phone in the other. Scarlett should be here soon...

And it was someone, but not Scarlett. My face lit up as I saw Robert step out of the car. I ran over to him and jumped into his arms for a hug. "Hey kid. Scarlett couldn't make it, so she sent me. I hope that's okay." "More than okay." I smiled as he set me down and opened the passenger door for me.

We drove in silence for a few minutes, and then Robert turned to me and asked how I was feeling. I took a deep breath and I told him about the tough moments, the breakthroughs, and the overwhelming emotions that I had felt during my stay. Robert listened patiently as I spoke, and then he shared some of his own experiences with addiction and rehab. He talked about how he had struggled with addiction for many years, and how rehab had been a crucial part of his recovery. He told me about the people who had helped him along the way, and how he had learned to take things one day at a time.

As we continued to talk, I began to feel a sense of peace and clarity that I had not experienced in a long time. Robert's words gave me hope, and it was something I hadn't felt for a long time.

We arrived at my apartment and Robert had decided to walk me up. We stood at my door and he pulled me into a hug. "I'm proud of you, Phee. If you ever need anything, literally anything, please text me." His face was full of concern as his hands rested on my shoulders. "Thank you, Robert." I felt a surge of gratitude and appreciation for the support that he had shown me.

With one last hug, I opened the door to my apartment to find it completely restored and spotless. Even the vase stood tall with fresh flowers. Sunflowers. My favorite. Scarlett must have done this. I smiled and walked over to the vase, smelling the flowers. There was a small handwritten note with my name on it. I picked it up and my breath hitched in my throat once I saw the handwriting.

Dear Phoenix,

I am writing to you to apologize for the pain and hurt that I have caused you. I know that my actions were completely wrong, and I take full responsibility for them. I understand that what we did was a mistake, and I should never have acted on my feelings while in a relationship with Jenny.

I want to make it clear that I don't regret my feelings for you or the other night. You're amazing and I like you Phee...I'll end things with Jenny, it's you that I want. I have for a while and I'm prepared to wait. I know you probably don't want to hear from me or ever talk to me again, but I want you to know that I deeply regret my actions that hurt you. I will respect your decision either way.

I wanted to do something to make things right, so I came to your apartment and cleaned up the mess. I even replaced the vase that broke, with fresh sunflowers in it...I know they are your favorite. I know it doesn't make up for much, but I hope it's a start. Please know that I did this without any expectations, but simply because I truly care about you.

Sincerely,
Chris

PS, Scareltt went through everything & dumped any alcohol and drugs she found. I was, however, able to rescue a bottle of tequila and a bottle of vodka from certain death...they're above the fridge.

I held the note close to my chest as a few tears fell from my eyes. It was him. He fixed everything just the way I had it before. Chris did all of this.