Ashes (Chris Evans)

Chapter 1

AN // I wrote this story in 2021 and I just finished rewriting and updating it to make it better lol (it was rough before). Warnings for this book include drug use / addiction and other possible triggering themes. Other than that, I hope you enjoy it :)

"Get up!" My sister, Scarlett, yelled as she splashed a cold bucket of water across my body. "WHAT THE FUCK?!" I sat up abruptly and glared at her. I was now wet and shivering. "How'd you get inside my apartment?" I asked, getting out of my now soaking wet bed and walking into my bathroom. "Key under your mat. You should have a better hiding place for that." She said, following me into the bathroom. "Get dressed. You're coming with me to set."

"Like hell I am." I peeled off my wet clothing and turned on my shower. "You don't have a choice, Phoenix." I groaned and stepped into the burning hot shower to wash away the feeling of last night. "Why is your apartment a mess?" She asked.

"Had people over." I mumbled. "Phoenix. If I search your apartment, am I going to find shit I shouldn't?" She asked. "No." She groaned and walked out of the bathroom and likely into the living room where she was probably searching my house like a parole officer. I scrubbed my body with my purple loofah and tree hut scrub. I let the hot water run down my back as I sobered up. I stepped out of the shower and wrapped the white fluffy towel around my body. I looked at the mirror, fogged up with steam. I took my hand and wiped it so I could stare back at myself. I sighed and leaned forward against the counter and took in a shaky breath. I peered out into the bedroom to see if my sister was there. To my surprise, she wasn't and I grabbed the pill bottle that was hidden under my sink.

I popped two pills into my mouth and looked back at my reflection. I hid the pills again and walked into my closet to change into leggings and a sweatshirt. I put my hair up in a bun and slid on my air forces.

I walked out into the living room where Scarlett was throwing things around. "Scar, what the fuck?!" I waved my arms around and she stood up straight, crossing her arms across her chest. "What did you take?" "I don't know what you're talking about." I shrugged and walked into my kitchen, pouring a glass of juice. "Why can't you just let me help you?" "I don't need help. I'm perfectly fine and sober, see." I gave her a fake smile and she rolled her eyes. "Phoenix." "Scarlett." "Let's just go." She said, walking out of the door and into the hallway. I grabbed my purse and followed her.

After a short drive later, we arrived at her set. There were plenty of paparazzi and fans posted outside. I slid my sunglasses over my eyes as we both stepped out of the car. They shouted at her until they recognized me. "Phoenix!! When's your next album and tour?!" "Why did you cancel the last tour?!" "Why did you get arrested?!"

I kept my head down as they yelled at me. We got through the gate and Scarlett handed me an all access pass. I followed her closely as she walked through the movie set. "Scarlett!" Someone yelled. I kept my sunglasses on as I watched the man approach her. It was Robert Downy Jr. He engulfed her in a hug before glancing at me. "Phoenix?? I can't believe you're actually here!!" He approached me with a wide smile and pulled me into a hug. I'd known him since Iron Man 2, and he was like a second dad to me. Though my first one wasn't that great anyway. "I've missed you. It's been a while." He said. "I know!" "So how was your first time in jail? What was it for again?" He asked.

"It was only a holding cell...but public intoxication. Apparently some Karen's got offended and didn't want to see me strip and dive into a fountain." I shrugged and he smiled at me.

"Did you make anyone your bitch." "Robert!" Scarlett slapped him upside the head and I gave him a smile. I looked over and saw a few more people approaching. I looked back at Robert, "to answer your question, no I did not make anyone my bitch. Though I did get in a fight with a prostitute in the holding cell. The alcohol was making me bold I guess." He laughed loudly, receiving a glare from Scarlett. "Robert, don't encourage her." He put on a serious face, "right of course." The minute she turned away he threw me a wink. And this is why he's my favorite avenger.

"PHOENIX!!" Someone yelled. I screamed and I jumped around, ready to smack whoever snuck up behind me. Chris was doubled over in laughter. "Are you satisfied with yourself?" I pushed his shoulder as he pulled me into a hug. I had known Chris Evans since I was 16 and he and Scarlett filmed the Nanny Diaries. I had met the rest of them at the premier of the first Avenger's movie when I was only 20 and my music career was taking off. "What are you doing here?" He asked, keeping his arm on my shoulder. "Being babysat." He pulled the sunglasses down my nose a little and gave me a disappointed look. "Are you high right now?" He asked in a whisper. "What?? No." I said defensively. "Phee, I know your eyes. They're dull, not as blue and a little bloodshot."

"Please don't..." I pleaded. I was scared he'd tell Scarlett.

"Phoenix..." He started but Scarlett cut him off.

"And you all know Phoenix." I looked away from Chris and to the other three men. "Hi guys!" I smiled as Scarlett gestured towards me. One by one they pulled me into a hug. I had been so busy doing drugs, the extent of my drug habit unknown to Scarlett, and touring, that I hadn't seen them in a while. Not since they filmed Age of Ultron at least. I think they are on Infinity War right now? I can never keep up.

"Phoenix, I missed you! Any new albums or songs in the works?" Chris Hemsworth asked me. "A few." I smiled at him. "My little brother will not shut up about you." He said, referring to Liam Hemsworth. "Oh I know, he's a big fan." I laughed. "Let's send him a pic." He pulled me away from Chris and took a quick photo of me to send to Liam.

"How do you know his brother?" Robert asked. "My brother has a massive crush on her and slid into her dm's a few years ago but she keeps turning him down. I think he's asked her out like 3 times!! It's hilarious!" Hemsworth said, typing out something on his phone. I shrugged and looked at Scarlett. "Is there a bathroom?" "Yea, I'll take you to my trailer." She linked her arm with mine and pulled me away from the group. "Nice to see you all again!" I shouted, waving at them as she pulled me in the direction of her trailer.

"You stay here." She smiled and pushed me down on the couch. "Fine by me." I smiled at her and she pulled my notebook of songs out of her bag. "I brought this in case you wanted to write."

"Thanks." I ran my hand across the notebook. "I have to go out there but just please stay here." I nodded and opened the notebook to see the countless unfinished songs. I might as well work on some them. My agent has been pushing me for new songs for a new album. I had to have something done by the time my next tour started. I just decided getting high was a better use of my time. I ran my fingers over the words on the page and glared at the title. Colors. "You're only happy when your sorry head is filled with dope..." I whispered as I read the lyrics on the page. "I'll hope you make it to the day you're 28 years old..."

"Everything is blue..." I chewed on the tip of my pen and flipped to the next page containing yet another unfinished song.

Gasoline. "Are you high enough without the Mary Jane like me...I think there's a fault in my code..." I glanced over at my bag and pulled out a small dime bag of white powder. I stared at it for a few seconds before getting off the couch. My hand hovered over the toilet in Scarlett's bathroom ready to spill the power down the drain. Something stopped me. I couldn't do it. I pulled the baggy back to my chest and poured some out on the counter. Bottoms up.