sorry, i'm not sorry || hyungwon monsta x fanfic ||

50.

laying in bed did not feel the same anymore.
having the empty space where he once laid with her, just made her feel incomplete.

a couple days later she tried to sleep in the middle of the bed, but she still felt too uncomfortable. too alone, too different. that she couldn't sleep well. it was like sleeping in a strangers bed. so unfamiliar to her.

yet she knew that the feeling of being alone was way too familiar to her. those days when kang would go on his 'work trips' and be gone for days. before she knew he was cheating. how she would miss him, but it was different because she always knew he'd be back.

she knew this time it was different.

she couldn't call hyungwon to hear his voice or facetime or ask for a photo to see his face.

that time she got used to it. used to the loneliness the quietness. it pained her to think about it. to think about her normal being alone.

she understood that is why hyungwon wanted her to go out to make friends. so she wouldn't be lonely, she wouldn't feel how she did when she was married to kang.

it had been four weeks and a half since he was gone. it wasn't easy, truly not knowing how he was doing. she knew the r.o.k.a website occasionally would post photos of the men during their trading, and she would scan each photo for a glimpse of him and would get nothing. so ultimately she stopped looking. stopped looking for a small glimpse of her love.

she missed him, so much. but she knew he would be upset if all she did was lay in bed all day. or completely giving up on herself.

so she got up early every day this week before work and went to the gym. something she hadn't done in months. the doctor recommended her to still not do over strenuous activities and telling her to do walking or a light jog. she wasn't completely given the ok to stretch, do abdominal exercises or lift weights. 

on the weekends she would visit jaesook. she took comfort with being her as they cooked together, or went to the stores. she enjoyed her company having a mother like figure since she still had not spoken to her mother since her sisters wedding.

"do you mean to tell me that, i need to do your work for you because you have a bum leg," nari says as she walks into the elevator. headphones in each ear. dressed in an oversized hoodie and her tote bag on her shoulder that kept her reusable water bottle and other gym necessities.

"i'm not saying that, i'm saying that you should be more considerate because of my broken leg," jungwoo responds back to her in a teasing tone. "you were so mean to me at the shoot yesterday."

"no i wasn't you are just sensitive," nari states in a sassy tone. "also your leg is better. you're dramatic."

"you've been a lot meaner moon nari did something happen? did your evil twin take over your body? are you possessed?"

she rolls her eyes knowing he couldn't see her, yet she had a feeling he knew she was. "i had my stomach split open and had internal bleeding. i could have died and all you have is a broken foot? must be amazing to be able to do everything else and be in pristine shape. you know i have low immunity? that i have to be careful with getting sick because i can become bed ridden? or that if i lift anything more than 5 pounds i could possibly have it rupture again? did you know that jungwoo?" she rants.

the man knew his friend was going through her emotions and knew she had been a little bit more snappy since her boyfriend left. "i'm sorry. nari i was teasing. i'll just ask if we can use an intern for the next time. that's what they are there for." ultimately letting her win this argument once again.

"so what has you up so early this morning?" nari asks stepping off the elevator on her floor. "and don't lie and say you're a morning person i know you aren't."