I'm back. Yesterday I gave Eleanor my journal to read. I thought after that she'd probably realize what a psycho I am and decide to forget me, but that's not what happened at all. I guess before that I should say what else happened yesterday. I'll be honest it's kind of a blur but Isabella, my cheerleader roommate, had me in some kind of trance. I remember we went outside and talked about something and she looked at me like she was about to kiss me and then she attacked me. Turns out she was an empousa, and now I'm in a different hospital with severe burns and scratches. I'll admit I'm mad at myself. If I was in another situation, if I'd been ready I think I could've done something. They didn't know if I'd make it but I have a bit more hope now that I woke up today. Still don't know. Yesterday Will came right after I woke up from surgery. He says he doesn't want to have his wedding without me because I'm the only person he cared was there, besides Nico obviously. Not even his kids. Are they going to postpone it? Of course, if I die they won't have a reason to. But will they keep going with it like they planned? I wonder how Nico feels about all this. I'm glad Will didn't leave. While we were talking Eleanor called. She said she was going to come over and while she was on her way I called my dad, and I'd never been so happy to hear his voice. Apparently Apollo was the one that told him what happened. I wonder how that conversation went. Heyy so um you know how like fifteen years ago we had a daughter together and I left her to you to raise? Yeah well just a heads-up she might be dying. I think he said he was going to fly down here but I don't remember. I hope he does. I wish I could stay with him but it wouldn't be safe to move me right now and honestly, I think camp might be the only place I'll feel safe for a while. That's all assuming I don't die. When Eleanor arrived we talked for a bit and she cried and said it must be her fault because she was there earlier and could've protected me. Which was cute but I know I'm supposed to be the one to protect her, not the other way around and besides if she was there she probably wouldn't have been able to do anything since she's still in a wheelchair and she would've even be able to tell Isabella was a monster. Anyway, she says she loves me and no one else, but she's fake-dating Livi for a couple of weeks until. Something. I don't remember. They both know it's fake and will just act like friends. She kissed me, even though my face looks pretty gross and some of my hair is burned off. What a sight that probably was, a half-dead girl on a hospital bed and a person in a wheelchair with a messed-up shoulder and a bruised face. Both looking like we'd been through a war. She said she'll be whatever I want her to be so that she can stay in my life. And you know what? I think I love her and not just in a friend way.
Will and Eleanor both spent the night which I was really grateful for. Vie came at some point but I barely remember it and they didn't stay too long. I wonder if Will talked to them, or if they were even invited to the wedding. I wonder if they'll ever make up. It would kind of suck if they didn't. They've both been such an important part of my life since I first came to camp, I don't know what I would've done without both of them. It's times like this when I most miss the days of prank wars and strawberry fields, capture the flag and camp sing-alongs. Days spent in the infirmary or at the archery range. Days when I didn't worry about falling asleep because I had a whole cabin who could comfort me if I had nightmares. It wasn't exactly a walk in the park—my first battle was only a month after I'd been claimed by Apollo. I was nine years old. I remember Lee. His curly brown hair and freckles. I remember he'd wanted to be an actor. A movie star. I remember Will, the best healer, the determined, scared look on his face as he tried his best to heal our brother. I'd buried my face in Michael's chest and cried. I begged my dad to save him. But maybe he was somewhere else that night, or maybe he knew it was Lee's time, but either way, the next morning Michael took over as our head counselor and I cried all night. I wonder if Will and Vie remember it as vividly as I do. Probably. If I reminded them of that night, or the night a year later, when we lost Michael along with several other members of our cabin and once we finally finished in the infirmary for the night the four of us that were left built a fort in the middle of our cabin and slept in it because it was too painful seeing all the empty bunks that hadn't been empty before, maybe if I reminded them of that they'd realize that our siblinghood (?) was more important than one fight. Gods, I'd really hate it if I died and they still didn't make up. I don't really want to die anymore. I hope I heal fast. The hospital gets boring pretty quick and the smell of antiseptic reminds me of the infirmary, which makes me feel like I'm back there which makes me feel lonely and kind of sick. Dad—Apollo—said he's going to visit me later. I hope he doesn't forget. Most of the time it's like he's too busy having more kids to pay attention to the ones he's already got. It'd be nice to have any visitor to distract me especially since the drugs are starting to wear off.
