What is happening to me? I can't feel anything. I feel so numb and the days are blurring into each other. Anorexia was really bad this week. I've thought of a dozen ways to do it but haven't made any effort to. Maybe a tiny part of me still wants to keep fighting. I don't know why or what for. I could really use a friend other than my family. I miss my dad too. He's getting married next month and I'm scared he won't need me anymore. I'm not okay. I've been spending most of the time in the library. I'm not a big reader but it's quiet. I can think without anyone bothering me. I'm trying to stay out of the way since most of the family hates me. Maybe if they forget I'm here I'll be allowed to stay. They won't send me back to camp. Will's house is ridiculously big and overwhelms me. Sometimes Castor sits and lets me pet him. I always wanted a cat. The black one, Stellaluna, hates me. Which isn't surprising because its owner hates me. I'm glad they let me stay here. At camp Vie is the only one that keeps me sane. I just want to die.
