Last night Eleanor took me out. Like on a date. Everything was fine until Livi started texting me. I won't repeat what she said but it was basically what I told myself over and over before me and Eleanor got together. I started having a panic attack, we had to leave the restaurant. I could barely breathe and Eleanor held me for a while until I stopped crying. I'm glad she did because I wanted to cut myself really bad. I felt so horrible and I still do. I'm a horrible person. I felt bad for ruining our date too. When I finally calmed down Eleanor said she was going to take a shower. Half an hour later my phone buzzed and it was from her. The message said something like "I really do care about you and I want you to know that you will find someone who can give you everything you deserve, I'm sorry I couldn't be that for you." I couldn't believe she was breaking up with me that fast but then I found her in the kitchen. And she was dead. The rest of the night was a blur. I told Will and he said Livi was dead too. Livi had told Eleanor she was going to kill herself and Eleanor said that if she did they would too. Livi didn't believe her and Eleanor didn't like being called a liar. Dad showed up and he said I couldn't go too. I said I wouldn't and then he said "I love you" which is something he's never said to me before. I was too surprised to respond. Then he knocked me out. To be safe I guess. I'm glad he did even though I felt like I'd been hit by a truck the next morning. Will came this morning and we went to the underworld. We found Livi and Eleanor. I was so happy to see both of them. When we got back, I told Eleanor that I loved her. She was surprised. She said she didn't know if she knew how to love and I said I didn't either. But she said she thinks she loves me too.
That was maybe the happiest moment of my life.
I tried to heal Eleanor. I've never been a very good healer but it worked pretty well. Maybe Dad's finally paying attention. Then she asked me to tell her a story. I told her about Perseus killing Medusa. When I got to a part where I mentioned Hades Eleanor's breath got really fast. And when I said most Greek myths are tragedies she started to cry. She said she didn't know what was wrong. I think it's post-traumatic stress, which I know all about.
