Statehouse Oneshots

Don't piss off (Mom) The government

A rant California went on about the differences between "Fear", "Terror", and "Horror" and how they work in literature is very suddenly and unhelpfully come to his mind.

Specifically the part where California used his fellow stares as examples, and then described Gov when mad as "An unholy fucking mixture of all 3".

Ohio was pretty sure he was feeling that unholy mix of all three, and perhaps some new ones at he sat in Gov's office, watching the man at his desk. Waiting for him to wrap his head around it. To say something,anything about the latest stunt one of his states had pulled.

Now of course he knew this was a bad idea from the start. Yeah, ok, maybe it was a bad idea to use paintball guns in the house. Maybe it was a bad idea for it to be neon fucking pink and try to shoot Xichigan with it.

Maybe.

However, he could not be blamed for the bastard having equally neon green paint shoot back. That was something he did not plan for.

His eyes went back and forth, trying to consider a way out.

He didn't really think Gov got that mad. Only increasingly stressed. He didn't even look that mad. He didn't look much of anything. The only give away was the way the tension lay over the room. Thick enough you'd have to through out the knife and grab an axe.

He just wished he would do something other then sit there. It was fucking creepy.

Ohio shifted uncomfortably, waiting for him to speak.

"So,"

Oh ok speaking was NOT in fact better. He expected yelling, throwing things, a little bit of insanity. The things to expect from a stressed government pushed over the edge. But this? This icy tone? The glare to match? Nope. No thank you. He wants OUT of here thank you very much.

"You two. Decided to have a paintball fight in the hallway?"

Ohio glanced over at that bastard up North. Good to see he was also looking confused and very scared. He wasn't the only wimp. He looked back at Gov to find the man's gaze directly on him. Dear God, why.

"Look, I'm sorry-"

The words were out of his mouth before he even knew it. Fuck. He had cracked. And right infront of Xichigan no less. He could hear the other state snickering, like he didn't look scared shitless a moment before. This was quickly shut up when Gov's eyes fell on the other.

"Why did you decide this in the first place?"

"Cause he deserved it!"

"The real reason?"

"What other reason do I need?"

The look on Gov's face shifted. This was, apparently, the wrong fucking answer. Gov seemed to lean down over him. It was almost as if the room, the shadows, were flickering on the edges of his vision.

"So, you covered the wall of the statehouse neon pink and green with paintballs, a house you don't pay for might I add, for something as little as 'He deserved it?'"

The fucker was almost smiling now. A polite edge to his otherwise sharp tone. Fake gentleness, meant to lead them into a false sense of security. That is what Gov does best, after all. But he wouldn't be fooled. He knew this game far too well to be fooled by fake pleasantries over spikes.

"I'm going to need something better then that, Ohio."

The way he said his name made the state want to bolt.

He shook his head. In the corner of his eye, he saw Xichigan do the same.

There was silence, for a moment. It drew out, feeling like forever. He wanted to squirm under Gov's gaze, but he held fast. And then the dreaded happened. Something forgotten long ago that enacted a flight or fight response deep within him.

"One."

The first number was met with confusion. Memories struggling to come up with why this was happening. One what? Why just one?

"Two."

They're eyes widened as both the states at once realized what was happening. No. This wouldn't work. They're adults, hundreds of years old. They wouldn't give in, they couldn't. It was just counting. It meant nothing. Most of the time Gov was spineless why would this be any different. In fact, let him. What was he going to do? He who could not control them and their disputes. He who was so openly shady no one fell for it anymore. Let him try. Let him dare.

"Three."

Xichigan shifted uncomfortably beside him. It'll be 5 soon at this rate. Then what will happen? The unknown becomes known and then what? Does he want to know? There's a reason some things are let be. Should he say something? Stay quiet?

"Four."

He broke.

"Ok! Ok! You win. He stole my stuff and wouldn't give it back, so..I got revenge."

"And you just had to do it huh."

"Says the guy who was practically begging for it! You were prepared!"

"Yeah, well-"

Gov put up a hand, signaling them to quiet and surprisingly, quiet the did. All that was left now was punishment for their crimes. Ohio could swear the ticking click of Gov's watch was growing louder.

Finally, Gov stood up fron his chair, suddenly perfectly framed by the window behind him. The sunlight streaming through shaded him, making the sight of him gazing down upon them all the more intimidating. Ohio thinks, maybe he did that on purpose. The answer is yes very much so.

"You're grounded, of course. Extra chores and all that. Don't even try to argue that I 'Can't ground you.' I can and I have."

They gawked at him, open mouthed.

"If you must behave like children, you'll be treated like one. To your rooms. I don't wanna hear another word or argument for a week."

Ohio was out in an instant, the source of all his problems following close behind. As they went they could hear Gov mutter something about 'Forced bonding time' whatever horrors that may be.

God knows they won't be fighting anywhere near Gov again.