Statehouse Oneshots

National Rhode Island Day

Forgot to publish this and now I'm like an hour late whoops.

Delaware snuck into Rhode's room, quiet as a mouse only to immediately disrupt that by flicking on the light like a dick.

"Hey."

Rhode hasn't even opened his eyes and he can already see the grin on his friend's face.

"Nope. Uh uh. Not today Satan I know what day it is. Either means it'll be a nice thing or a prank."

"It'll be fun!"

"First of all, get off-" Dela does not move. Dela woke up and chose violence. "Second, fun for me or for you."

"Fun!"

Rhode sighs. That wasn't reassuring.

"You'll love it!" A seemingly nice thing to say, but definitely not when he had that look on his face.

A card was thrust into his hands. A simple cover as most store bought cards have (except for those loud popout ones he got Mass every Christmas) with the words "Happy National Rhode Island Day" scrawled across in red blocky letters against a backdrop of some nice Rhode Island scenery. Again, cute, but he wasn't trusting it.

"What's the catch?"

Dela pouts. "Just open it alreadyy"

He flips the card open.

The inside was practically blank except for a single sentence in those same blocky letters.

"Gotta appreciate the little things in life!"

He was silent for a moment.

"So? Do you love it? You love it."

"You're dead to me-" He was joking, of course, Delaware was his best friend, but what's a few empty threats between friends.

"Nah."

"I'm breaking your kneecaps."

"Ha short." Now was when Dela decided to get off him and start running.

"You are hALF AN INCH taller!"

He could here the resounding laughter- if you could even call it that it was more a villian's cackle- coming from the hall.

__

Rhode was about to leave his room to grab his charger, when unfortunately fate decided to make him it's bitch.

The door swung open to reveal Massachusetts, grinning. Truly a terrifying sight. This normally meant trouble and today was no different.

Rhode tried closing the door but the menace stuck his fucking foot in the way.

"Rhodie I got you something-"

"I don't want it-"

Yes Mass may have been some....older familial figure (There was many a debate, they never settled on one role) but it is not stopping him from chasing him down if it's like that damn card-

He looks down through the cracks in the door. There was a card in Mass's hands. Oh no.

"That's better not be-"

Oh it was. The same card as Dela's.

"...you know Delaware already beat you too it."

"Well shit that little-"

Mass jumps back as the door swung open, ready to release the little ball of rage. He best make his escape, but not before todding the card into Rhode's room.

__

He thought it was over.

Fate, apparently, wasn't done with him yet. It was almost starting to seem like a personal vendetta.

He had briefly become aware of the looming and horribly annoying presence beside him before a card was slapped down infront of him.

"Happy Rhode Island Day!" Came the voice of a certain southern Deadman.

He hoped for his own sake it wasn't that card because he did not need DC giving him the quiet dissapointment routine again. Virginia already did exasperated dissapointment so well.

He looked down.

....

Oh he was so dead.

It was one thing for the northeast to do, he was relatively close with them, and they were all pipsqueaks. It's another fucking thing for tall assholes to do it who haven't realized you're just the right height to bite their ankles.

Texas's laugh is grating to his ears.

Texas realized all too late he fucked up and that he should be running.

Of course, running wouldn't save him but it's nice to give yourself hope every once in a while.

It was a quick chase, the impact from Texas's fall rattling nearby furniture.

A scream is heard throughout the statehouse, and Oklahoma shakes his head. Damn bastard, he warned him.