Freak Like Me - Katya Zamo

Part Twenty Seven: Numb

You wake up but it's almost like something heavy's pushing you down. Looking around, you noticed the space next to you in bed is empty, in fact, it looks like it hasn't even been touched. You supposed that you'd feel lighter to finally get rid of the weight of hiding such thing from him, but against your hopes, somehow, things seem heavier.

There's times when you do get upset, and even a little angry at yourselves, for getting so attached to the whole idea of having that baby together, especially yourself for allowing it, but you know that that's unfair on you both. Lately, it felt like you were no longer stuck in that initial place of insecurity and fear, Brian had showed you in every way he could that he didn't give a fuck about what people thought about you and your relationship.

He proved that he loved you so much, that even when you shut him out of your life, under such troubled circumstances, he waited around until you were ready to have him again. He proved his love for you by going on a retreat, focusing on his health and well-being so that he could be his best version for you... and he showed that he still loved you so much that when he saw the scar on your stomach he wished with every atom in his body that he was the one that had to get through it, while his heart seemed to break into a million pieces right at the spot.

Last night feels hazy, from the look on Brian's face to the necklace hanging around your neck. You could only overthink things so much before you went insane, so you decided to look for Brian. You get out of bed, feeling like you're dragging some heavy weight around with each step you took.

The apartment was incredibly quiet, which led you to wonder if he was actually at home. Your suspicion was proved right when you checked every room and he was nowhere to be found. You waited around for a bit, thinking that maybe he went out to get you breakfast, but starting to worry when he started to take too long to come back.

Brian's POV

He knew that you were holding back when you told him what had happened, and he could understand that you didn't want to put him through a harder time, and also reminisce about such traumatising memories. But if he wanted to know how things actually happened and comprehend them, he needed to talk with the person who stood by your side through most of it. That's how he ended up texting Stephanie. Which was a bit tricky at first since he didn't have her number, so he ended up in her DMs.

It was 5 a.m. so he didn't actually expect her to text him back anytime soon, but he was proven wrong. A few moments later as he sat on the couch, contemplating if he should try to sleep there or carefully slip into bed next to you, a notification popped up. Turns out you were so out of it yesterday that you'd texted her saying 'I think he knows. Help.'  and said nothing more. So she waited around for a while, waiting for you to explain yourself, but never hearing back from you. Which led her to stay up, much like Brian.

They agreed to meet up for coffee, Brian went to quickly check on you before he left, he knew that you'd to be actually exhausted to not to be by his side, processing and coming to terms with things. He was apprehensive. He wanted to believe that it was just a relatively comum misfortune, that it wasn't the first miscarriage in history and certainly not the last. But he knew that was probably not quite the case when his eyes lingered on your scar. He could only hope that you hadn't been through an excruciating amount of pain and discomfort, even though he doubted that was the case.

He waited for a few a minutes before Steph entered the coffee shop, she looked around for a second but recognised Brian as soon as her eyes met what she though to be the most gorgeous pair of eyes she'd ever laid eyes on. He looked tired and worried. Which was already enough at first sight for her to tell just how much he loves and cares about you.

"Hi, nice to meet you" She said as she approached him, he got up for a quick hug.

"Hi, and yes, it was about time" He said, giving her a polite smile to which she mirrored. Brian sighed, contemplating a way to start this conversation.