Freak Like Me - Katya Zamo

Part Twenty Four: Faded Dream

TW: blood; miscarriage;

Knowing that there was no one else but yourself to get you out of this situation, you went to the bathroom and undressed yourself, immediately taking a cold shower. Thankfully, it helped you, the physical symptoms were almost completely gone. Still, a war lingered in your mind. After being cold for longer than you probably should've, you put on some comfortable clothes and finally went to bed. But the pain came back.

You closed your eyes tightly and pulled the covers up to your chin, your thoughts torment you for yet another hour. You can't sleep. Tears threaten to fall, and the pain in your stomach only gets worse. You get up and go to the kitchen to get a glass of water, as you couldn't take an aspirin. When you go back to bed, you begin to wonder if the emotional agony you'd been through lately could, in fact, manifest itself as physical pain on this level.

Something isn't right.

It shouldn't hurt so much.

You feel an acute pain. A deep pain, enough for you to roll sideways. You grab the blanket with clenched fists and squeak your legs towards your stomach. When you do that, you feel it. Slippery and wet, all over. You immediately turn around to turn on the light. Another sharp wave of pain, so intense that makes you lose your breath. You move the blankets away and what you see makes you freeze, your body stopped working for a second. The lights were on and you're sweated, covered in blood.

The realisation hits you and you panicked, you were alone and Brian was miles away from you, and he didn't even have his fucking phone. You never felt so numb in your life, you sobbed like a lost child, searching almost blindly for your phone and calling your friend Stephanie, as she'd had been the closest to you from day one. It rang for a while, you couldn't blame her, it was 3 A.M.

"(Y/N)? What happened?" She picked up, apprehensively.

"I lost it, Steph... the baby" You answered, almost whispering, there was no tone to your voice, you were stunned.

"Oh God, (Y/N). Shit. I'm so sorry, honey... Where's Brian?" You forgot to tell her about Brian's retreat. Fuck.

"He's in fucking Mexico, Steph, on a retreat with no phone access. Please come pick me up, I need to get to the hospital" You took deep breaths, trying as hard as you could not to pass out.

"Fuck, (Y/N). I'm on my way" You could hear her jumping out of bed. Thankfully she lived just 4 blocks away, so it was a matter of few minutes before she arrived.

You'd never felt so vulnerable in your life, you longed for Brian.

You were lost in your own pain, panicking when you remembered the door was locked, how'd Steph get in here? You could barely move, let alone stand up and walk, but before you even had more time to think, you realised she was in front of you, bringing you back to reality.

"How'd you get in here?" You ask confused. Looking at the horror in her face when her eyes found the bloody mess.

"You told me to keep your key. My God, (Y/N)" She whispered. She picks you up, telling you that everything will be fine, carrying you to the car. She accelerates, you were once again lost in your own world and miles away from the only person that could understand the feeling, even if he didn't know what was going on now.

"Steph?" You're terrified. She takes your hand and squeezes it.

"It's okay, (Y/N). We're almost there"

Everything gets confusing after that.

Some details stand out. The fluorescent lamp over your head. Steph's hand involving yours. Words you fear to hear, such as abortion, haemorrhage and surgery.