Freak Like Me - Katya Zamo

Part Twenty Five: This Could Go Wrong

A very sunburned Brian stands at your door. He has a huge smile on his face, and you could only assume that he was happy to be back home and that maybe the retreat did him good. Much to your surprise, you don't take long to let him in. The worst part is that you feel like you just entered a manic episode.

"Oh my God. Hi, baby" You try your best to sound excited to be alive. Brian being Brian, instantly wraps you in a hug, stroking your back.

"I missed you so much" He says, his voice muffled by your hair.

"I missed you too. It's so early though..." You say as an attempt to make him explain why he's here when you two had agreed to only see each other when he came to pick you up later.

You were counting on it, otherwise you'd have to tell him now and you really didn't want that, apart from the fact that it would totally ruin Trixie's party. She would demand an explanation as to why you didn't show up and you knew that neither you or Brian could come up with a good excuse given the situation.

"I decided to drop by because I missed you very much and I also have a little present..." He said as he dropped his things on the couch, searching for what you assumed to be the present.

"This is my first present for our baby and I know it's not what you'd normally expect, but I really wanted to buy something.... this is the best I could do under the circumstances" He said, and for some reason he looked shy as he waited for your reaction.

Brian handed you a teddy bear with "I ❤️ Mexico" written on a tiny shirt, clearly a souvenir. It was light brown and had red bows on each ear. Your eyes found a tag on the side of it and noticed Brian's handwriting on a note.

With my whole heart,

                     Dada XX

Your heart sank. You looked at it and it's almost as if a wave crashed into you. While you tried your best not fall apart right there, Brian's eyes searched for yours, wanting some reaction from you.

"I- It's perfect" You said in a hushed tone, hugging him. It's almost as if you were back in the hospital, feeling completely numb.

"Did you really like it? He tilts his head, trying to read into your emotions.

"It's probably the best thing you've ever given me" You finally look at his face, forcing a small smile. "Tell me how was it. I'm dying to know" You changed the subject, trying to focus the conversation on him.

"I'll try to keep it short now because I'm gonna head home soon, I'm exhausted" As soon as the words left his mouth, a wave of relief infiltrated your body. "I'll tell you all about it later. But it was great. I have to say, I felt a lot of sympathy for you when we were doing Ayahuasca and we started throwing up. When it hit, I gasped, was like "I can't believe (Y/N) had to go through this for almost three months straight". All that while looking at the stars and talking to myself... well, I thought I was talking to someone" His eyes widened, looking like he'd just remembered something.

"The first day was like, really intense. During the nighttime, I had a migraine. Not even a headache, it was a fucking migraine. I don't really know why, like, when I left here I was totally fine. I don't know what happened, it hurt so much that I almost felt like giving up. I thought it was a sign that I shouldn't be there, but I remembered that you encouraged me to do it, so I stayed... I mean, apart from that day, it was fine. The truly bad thing about it was being away from you" He explained.

You didn't know where exactly you stood as far as spiritual things go, but it seemed like you were truly connected. Even if the pain was caused by different things, you both felt a devastating agony that night.