Freak Like Me - Katya Zamo

Part Eight: I Don't Want The Truth

Brian's POV

The first time I met (Y/N) was at the Trixie Cosmetics office, at the very beginning I'd say. Because Trixie immediately liked her so much, sometimes she'd come along when we were filming UNHhhh or I Like to Watch and it didn't take much time for me to start noticing her more.

She's one of the most beautiful women I've ever met. It's sounds cliché, I know, but when it comes to her, most things do, to be honest. I just never felt something this intense before.

I'm attracted to her in every way, and that almost never happens to me. I can like someone physically but can't stand to have a conversation with them, or I can like them but not really be sexually attracted to them.

(Y/N) made me act differently. I'm usually very upfront when it comes to hooking up and everything but, for some reason, things are different when it comes to her. She'd make me feel shy and cautious, I just didn't have as much courage as I usually do to suggest something else besides what we already had, that wasn't much. Gladly, this wouldn't last for much longer though.

As time went on, I started noticing that she'd get nervous when she was around me, look at me more than one would normally look and easily blush at anything I said about her, the latter being my personal favourite. Those little things were the ones that made me more confident to give it a try.

We had a lovely time at dinner after the Red Scare photoshoot, as we engaged in conversation alone for the first time and she proved to be really smart and have quite a lot of interests in common with me. Couple of days later, I was once again at the office, the collection had finally launched. As I was stepping out of the bathroom, I see (Y/N) sprinting down the hallway, looking a bit disheveled after a night out, but still pretty nonetheless.

As we were talking, I noticed the marks on her neck. Suddenly I could feel a fire inside me, a consuming feeling of jealousy, the thought that another person was touching her, when it should've been me was almost unbearable. I tried my best to not let it show, but I'm pretty sure that she noticed it, because she looked kind of confused by the state I was in.

The rest of the day was quite fun for me, to be honest. Most of the time, I could feel her eyes on me, and every time our eyes would meet, she would blush and look down, biting her lip. The whole situation didn't pass by unnoticed by Trixie though, as (Y/N) was leaving, Trixie invited her to Craft Night at Amy's, which caught us both by surprise, but I quickly fathomed what the intention behind it was. When there were only the two of us in the room, she starts:

"I don't know who sucks more at hiding their feelings, you or her" Trixie said, shaking her head.

"What do you mean?" I said already knowing what she meant, but wanting to hear her thoughts on it.

"Oh Please, Brian, you know exactly what I'm talking about... you two look head over heels for each other. I'm curious thought, did you guys hook up or anything? And bitch, why didn't you tell me? I'm literally the one to talk in this situation"

"We didn't do anything. I mean, we barely even talk, I don't know... maybe I'm reading too much into it"

"I think she really likes you, so I'm giving you her number, you're the one giving her Amy's address. Thank me later, bitch"

~

The tension during Craft Night could really be cut with a knife. She looked so fucking sexy that day, and the little dress she was wearing that showed her beautiful legs... I almost exploded. We just kept looking at each other when no one else was looking, each time more intense than the other, she really was fucking me with her eyes. On the way home, I decided to test the waters, and the minute I asked her why was it that every time we saw each other, she would look at me like that... and when she looked at me with wide eyes and got even more flushed than she already was, I had my answer.

So it wasn't a surprise to any of us that we would end up hooking up. The thing is, now that we are back home, I'm really not sure if this is a one time thing or if it'll continue. I just know that I really, really, really like (Y/N), which for me is the closest to be in love that I've gotten to date.

Everything's confusing at the moment. What Trixie said back at Palm Springs stuck with me, I'm not even angry at her, of course it sucks that she would think that but, the worst thing is that she's probably not that wrong. The last thing I would want is to hurt (Y/N), which means that it's best for this to be nothing more than casual sex, no strings attached and no one getting hurt... I think.

It's a fact that conversation is the key but, if she doesn't feel the same way, I don't know if I want to hear the truth. I have no idea how I could be so infatuated by her this quickly, I think we really bonded, in every way. I could spend hours talking to her, looking at her... and, of course, fucking her.

Ok, shit is serious now.

I'm in love...

Fuck.