Shameless (Jalex Fanfic)

Chapter 5: Only A Quitter Would Let it Go

Alex POV:

"Jack?" I asked as we walked to the exit of the amusement park. We hadn't spoken since the kiss. It wasn't tense, maybe just a little awkward.

"Yeah?"

"Should we talk about it?" I asked quietly.

"I don't know... Should we?" He looked down, switching the question around and pinning me down with it.

I shrugged, "I don't know what to say." 

"Me either... I, um, don't think we should tell people," Jack said quickly, making my heart sink. I knew we weren't to tell people, but I wanted to. I wanted to scream it out for all to hear.

"What does this mean then?" My eyes met with his big chocolate brown ones.

"I don't know... What do you want it to be?" Jack asked me cautiously.

I looked down at my shoes, "I don't know." That's all we could say, because we didn't know. We didn't know anything.

--

We left it at that for a few weeks. Sometimes we would hang out like friends, all the while my heart would pound. Then he'd get different and look at me with what I thought was love.

The tour was coming to an end and I was really worried about what it would be like when I got home. Although I did love Jack, I still had to worry about Lisa and I. What was she going to do when I got back? Was she going to kick me out of my own house? Was I going to kick her out?

I wished so much that I could talk to Jack about it. I thought it would be too awkward since we kind of had something.

Aside from shows, I spent most of my days alone in my bunk or in the back room. Kind of like in the beginning of the tour. Rian and Zack would try to get me to come out with them but just never felt like it. You could say I was depressed. You could say that.

Jack tried to talk to me too but I brushed him off because I knew he felt the same way as I did when we talked, pained. I was so glad we were friends still but I loved him and there wasn't any amount of normal conversation that is going to make it go away.

Jack POV:

He wouldn't look at me or talk to me. I didn't know how I'd be able to finish this tour without talking to him. My feelings for Alex were complicated. I didn't want to think about it and ruin years and years of friendship, but I also couldn't stop thinking about it, about him.

Something was on his mind. I thought it was me at first but I soon realized I needed to get over myself and figure out what was really wrong with him. Something else was bothering him. If I could help, I would. So one day, the last day, when he was in the back room I joined him.

I paused, remembering the last time I followed him into here. It only ended in a fight. We were on our way home this time. The tour had finally ended.

"Alex?" I asked walking up to the couch he was sitting on.

He looked up at me silently, his hair in his face slightly. He whipped it back into place as I perched next to him.

"You alright?"

He gave me a small smile and nodded, "I'm fine. Just... thinking I guess."

"You want to talk about it?"

Alex shrugged, "It's not important."

"You're alone more than not these days," I said, "It must be important."

"Well," he sighed, "It's just, I've been thinking about Lisa lately."

My heart skipped a beat. Lisa. The girl who broke his heart. Why in the world would he want to think about her? A little green emotion started to prick it's way around in my chest, "What about her?"

"I don't know... everything. About how we broke up, if you can even call it that, and what I'm going to do when we get back. I mean, is she going to kick me out? Am I gonna kick her out? Is she already gone?" He shrugged, "I don't know it's stupid."

"It's not stupid, Alex, it's valid. You should be thinking about it, but you can't just let it overcome you. You're better than that."

He gave me another half smile, "Ah, I don't know. Whenever something is on my mind it just kind of takes over. I can't help it."

"If it's bothering you so much," I began, speaking before I thought, "Then you should just come and live with me."

He stared at me, a real smile playing around the edges of his mouth, "Really? You would let me?"

"Of course, Alex. You're my best friend."

Alex POV:

When Jack told me I could move in with him I got this feeling in my chest that was like no other. I think it was nervous, but I wasn't too sure. After all the years of us being friends we'd never lived with one another, of course other than the tour bus.

That day we talked until the bus pulled into it's final stop for this tour. We grabbed all of our things and thanked the bus driver. Jack decided to come to my house with me to see what was up with Lisa.

The closer we got to the house the more nervous I got. Jack shot me comforting smiles all the way there. We took his car because mine was at the house we slowly pulled up to.

My breathing began to speed up and I could feel a stupid angst in my chest. Damn it. This was going to suck so bad.

I frowned and knocked on my own door. Jack gave me a reassuring smile as I heard Lisa yell from somewhere in the house, "I'll be down in a minute!"

My heart started going like crazy again. No calm down. No panic attacks. Stop.

"It's alright Alex. I promise everything will be okay," Jack giving my hand a squeeze before pulling it back.

"Yeah I hope."

Someone shuffled on the other side of the door.

It opened.

"ALEX!"

And before I knew it Lisa was in my arms with her lips pressed against mine.