After my lip was taken care of, Pete and I were allowed to go to my old room while the men discussed how to proceed with the wedding. Two bodyguards were ordered to keep watch on me. One waited in front of the door, the other below my window, in case I decided to climb out of it. The moment the door of my room closed I leaned against it and let out a shaky sigh. Pete touched my cheek. "How's your lip?" "Okay. Macau stitched it up for me." "I'm so glad he decided to marry you." My eyebrows shot up. "Not you too, Pete." Pete pulled me toward the bed and made me sit down. "Father would have given you to one of his soldiers as punishment, Tay. And you can be sure he would have chosen the least appealing option. Someone really nasty. He's really mad at you. Macau isn't a bad choice. He must care for you if he went to such great length to find you." "He's a proud man. Pride made him pursue me, nothing else." "Maybe," he said uncertainly. He picked up a brush from the nightstand. Everything was still as I'd left it six months ago. I was surprised Father hadn't burnt all of my things. I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open. It was almost seven in the evening. It would have been past midnight in Germany. I couldn't believe how much had happened since I'd woken in Munich. "Was it worth it?" Pete asked softly as he combed my hair. I couldn't remember the last time he'd done it. His fingers felt good on my scalp and I had to resist the urge to burry my face against his stomach and cry.I met her compassionate gaze, and for some reason his understanding infuriated me.
"Was the chance at freedom worth pissing off Father and being called a whore and slut? Yes, absolutely. But was my silly wish for something more worth the life of an innocent guy? Then fuck no. My entire existence isn't worth that much. Sid paid the ultimate price for my selfishness. There is nothing I can do to redeem myself." Tears sprang into my eyes. "Vegas told me," Pete said. "I'm so sorry." I brushed the tears off my face. "Maybe I should let Father marry me off to one of his sadist soldiers. It would serve me right." "Don't say that, Tay. You deserve happiness as much as anyone. You couldn't have known what would happen. It's not your fault that they killed Sid." "How can you even say that? Of course it's my fault. I knew who was hunting me. I knew what Macau and Father's men were capable off. I knew I was putting anyone whom I let close at risk. That's why I never dated any guys in all the other places I stayed. I flirted and kissed, but then I moved on. Your words from long ago always echoed in my mind. That being with another guy when you're engaged to a man like Vegas would mean that guy's death." "I wasn't talking about you. That's been a long time ago." "But Macau is just like Vegas and I knew that. I knew that he'd kill any guy he would find with me, but I still went out with Sid. I might as well have pulled the trigger myself!" "No. You didn't think he'd catch you. You wanted to feel at home and start a new life like you deserved after being on the run for so long. You felt safe and wanted to give love a chance. That's okay."
"No. No it isn't. You don't get it, Pete. It wasn't even about love. I didn't even really have a crush on Sid. I didn't even like him all that much at the end because he could be a jerk, and that makes it even worse. I risked too much for sloppy kisses and awkward groping, and Sid died because of it." "Please don't blame yourself. Blame Father and his men. Blame Macau. I don't care, but don't blame yourself." "Oh, I'm blaming all of them, don't worry, but that doesn't change that without me, Sid would still be playing his crappy guitar and flirt with Munich people." "You can't change the past, Tay, but you can make the best of your future." I couldn't help but smile. "I missed your optimism." I rested my head in his lap and closed my eyes. "I missed you so much." He stroked my hair. "I missed you too. I'm so happy that you'll live in Bangkok with me." "First I have to marry Macau. How am I going to be a husband, Pete?" "He and Vegas work a lot. You won't have to see him very often." "But still. I'll have to sleep with him and share a bed with him and try to be civil to him for God-knows-how long. It's not like he'll give me another chance to run." "You're thinking about running again?" he asked in a small voice. "I don't know. Maybe." "Maybe it won't be as bad as you think. Macau can be funny and he's good looking, so on a physical level at least it shouldn't be too bad. I'm sure he's a good lover considering how many girls he's had in the past." I cringed.
"Right. If we return to Bangkok tonight, he'll probably expect to sleep with me." Pete searched my face. "Are you worried he'll let his anger out on you for sleeping with other guys before him?" "I never did." Pete blinked. "You never did what?" "I never slept with any guy. I would have if I'd had a bit more time to get to know a guy but that was never the case." "Why didn't you say anything? Father treated you horribly. Maybe he would forgive you if you told him the truth." He moved as if she wanted to head downstairs to tell him herself, but I pulled him back down on the bed. "Don't," I said firmly. "I don't want anyone to know. I don't care if they call me a slut. I don't want to give them the satisfaction of knowing." Pete gave me a look that made it clear he thought I'd lost my mind. "You have to tell Macau at least. You have to." "Why? So he can pride himself on being my first? Fuck no. He's already acting like he's my savior. It'll be only worse if he finds out." "No, you have to tell him so he can be careful." I snorted. "I don't need him to be careful. I don't want him to know." "Tay, if your first time is anything like mine you'll be thanking your lucky stars if Macau is careful, trust me." "I'll survive." But Pete's words were starting to make me nervous. "That's ridiculous. If he thinks you're experienced, he might take you without much preparation. That'll really hurt." I shook my head.
"Pete, please. I've made my decision. I don't want Macau to know. It's none of his business." "What if he finds out anyway? There would have been no way I could have hidden it from Vegas." "I'm good at hiding pain. Maybe I'll bite into a pillow." Pete laughed. "That sounds like the stupidest idea I've ever heard." Someone knocked. I quickly sat up, my stomach in knots. What if Father and Dante had changed their minds and I was to stay in Chiang Mai? When the door opened and Mother walked in, I exhaled. She didn't smile and didn't try to come closer. She was the image of a perfect wife, always properly dressed, always submissive and polite, and incredibly skilled at hiding bruises whenever Father lost it and slapped her. She was everything I never wanted to become. If Macau ever slapped me, I'd hit him back, no matter the consequences. "The priest is on his way. He'll be here in fifteen minutes. We need to get you ready for the ceremony," she said matter-of-factly. My eyes widened. "So soon?" Mother nodded. "The Theerapanyakuls want to return to Bangkok as soon as possible, which is probably for the best." I rose from the bed, then slowly walked toward Mother. "Father will be glad to see me gone." 'What about you?' I wanted to ask but didn't dare to. Mother lifted her hand and brushed my cheek for the barest moment before taking a step back. "You shouldn't have run. You ruined your reputation." "I don't care about my reputation." "But you should." She turned to my wardrobe and opened it.
"Now let's see if there's a dress you can wear for the ceremony. Of course I wish I could have seen you walk down the aisle in a beautiful white attire." She sighed. Was she trying to make me feel guilty? Because it was working. Pete moved to my side and squeezed my shoulder before helping Mother. Pete helped me with my make-up, though it didn't hide my fat lip. "I'll see if the priest has arrived," Mother said, before hesitating in the doorway with a wistful expression. She opened her mouth but then turned and closed the door. I tried not to take it to heart. I'd known my parents and most of the people in my world would condemn me for what I'd done, so why was it hurting so much? "Do you think Lily and Fabi will be allowed to watch the ceremony?" I asked in a embarrassingly hopeful voice. "Let me talk to Father. I'm sure I can convince him," Pete said. I didn't protest as he walked out. If someone could convince Father, then it was Pete. I faced the mirror. My eyes were sad and tired. I didn't look like the blushing happy groom. Not that anyone expected me to. This wasn't even a real wedding. Despite my best intentions, regret gripped me once again. How could my life have become such a mess? All I'd ever wanted was to be free to make my own decisions. Maybe I would have married Macau if he'd ever bothered to ask me instead of ordering me to do it. And now I wouldn't ever get a real wedding or a beautiful dress. I'd always thought I didn't care about these things but now that they were lost to me I felt saddened. Pete returned. "It's time. The priest is waiting in the living room. Fabi and Lily are there too." I mustered a smile. "Then let's get married."
A/N: It's time for their marriage :D
ВИ ЧИТАЄТЕ
Vegas Pete - A Mafia Romance (Completed)
Романтика"You may kiss the groom," the priest said. I raised my head. Every pair of eyes in the pavilion scrutinized me, waiting for a flicker of weakness. Father would be furious if I let my terror show, and Vegas's Familia would use it against us. But I ha...
