Vegas Pete - A Mafia Romance (Completed)

Macau Tay - Chapter 3: Part 2

Pete and I were sent away before Vegas and Macau started dealing with the bastard, and Nop led us out the backdoor toward an SUV. My heart clenched when I settled on the backseat with Pete's head on my lap. He was so helpless. I stroked his hair as I listened to his rambling. The idea that someone wanted to hurt him scared the shit out of me. This was probably the first time that I was glad for our bodyguards. Without them that sick fuck would have kidnapped Pete and raped him. But I knew he'd get what he deserved, and I was oddly okay with it. I hated the mob and what it stood for, but right now I couldn't bring myself to feel bad for Pete's attacker. Maybe this was a sign of how much this life had shaped me, a sign of how messed up I was. I couldn't get the look on Macau's face out of my head. That flicker of excitement as he pulled out his knife before Pete and I left the room. He and Vegas were both monsters. I wasn't sure yet who was the more dangerous of the two. But the worst thing was that part of me felt attracted to Macau's monstrous side.

***

Almost one month had passed since I'd last seen Macau. Somehow his words about owning me still wouldn't leave my mind. Every time I relived our kiss, I brought them to the forefront of my brain to let my anger wash away any kind of longing my body felt. The only reason why I even still remembered that stupid kiss was because things at home were so bad. I was constantly fighting with Father, most of the time about my habit of saying what I thought, just like today. "I don't give a damn what's expected of me." Mother shushed me, her eyes shock-wide, but I was beyond listening. If Father told me one more time that I should behave myself like a decent person, I'd lose my shit. "Why is it so difficult to get into your head? I definitely don't want to be a good little husband to some mob asshole some day. I'd rather cut my own throat than end like that." I saw it coming but didn't even try to avoid it. Father's palm hit my face. It was one of his lighter slaps, which usually wasn't a good sign. He hit hard when he had no words to break my spirits. If he went easy on me, I wouldn't like what he had to say. He gripped my shoulders hard until I met his gaze. "Then maybe you should go looking for a sharp knife, Tay, because Theerapanyakul and I decided to marry you off to his son Macau." My mouth fell open. "What?" "You must have made quite an impression because he asked his Father to make this arrangement." 

"You can't do that!" "I can. And it wasn't my idea. Macau seemed very adamant about marrying you." "That bastard." Father's grip tightened and I winced. Lily only stared with huge blue eyes. She and Pete had only occasionally experienced Father's rougher side. He usually reserved his slaps and cruelness for me, the bad son. "This is exactly the reason why I'm glad to have you out of our territory. If I married you off to one of our soldiers, I'd have to punish one of our own for beating you to death for your insolence, but if Macau Theerapanyakul tortures some sense into you, I'll be off the hook because I can't risk war with Bangkok." I swallowed my hurt. I knew Father liked me least, and it wasn't as if I needed his approval or affection, but his words stung anyway. Mother, of course, didn't say anything, only stared down at her plate while folding and unfolding her stupid napkin. Lily's eyes were brimming with tears but she knew better than to open her mouth when Father was in a mood. She and Pete had always been better at self-preservation than me. "When did you make the decision?" I asked firmly, trying to mask my feelings. "Macau and his father approached me right after Pete's wedding." And suddenly I knew when Macau had decided to marry me: when I'd told him the morning after our kiss that I would never marry him. The arrogant asshole couldn't take the hit to his pride. He was marrying me to prove a point: that he got whatever he wanted, that he had the power while I was a marionette in the hands of the mafia. 

"I won't marry him or anyone else. I don't care what you say. I don't care what the Theerapanyakuls are saying. I don't fucking care." Father shook me hard until my ears started ringing. "You will do as I say or I swear I will beat you until you forget your name." I glared. I'd never hated anyone as much as I hated the man in front of me, and yet part of me, some hopeful, stupid, weak part loved him. "Why do you do this? It's not necessary. We already gave them Pete to make peace. Why do you force me to marry? Why can't you let me go to college and be happy?" Father's lips curled in disgust. "Go to college? Are you really that stupid? You are going to be Macau's husband. You are going to warm his bed and bear his children. End of story. Now go to your room before I lose my patience." Lily sent me a pleading look. What had once been Pete's job was now Lily's: keeping me out of trouble. If it hadn't been for her, I would have continued the fight. I didn't care if Father beat me over and over again, it wouldn't change my mind. I turned on my heel and ran up to my room where I grabbed my phone and flung myself on my bed. I speed dialed Pete and after the second ring he answered. Hearing her voice, the tears I'd been holding back, slipped out. At least, our bastard of a father couldn't see them. 

"Pete," I whispered. The tears were coming faster already. "Tay, what happened? What's going on? Are you hurt?" "Father's giving me to Macau." The words sounded so ridiculous. Nobody in the outside world would even understand them. I wasn't a piece of furniture that could be handed over to someone and yet that was my reality. "What do you mean he's giving you to Macau?" "Kan Theerapanyakul spoke to Father and told him that Macau wanted to marry me. And Father agreed!" "Did Father say why? I don't understand. I'm already in New York. He didn't need to marry you off to the Familia too." "I don't know why. Maybe Father wants to punish me for saying what I think. He knows how much I despise our men, and how much I hate Macau. He wants to see me suffer." That wasn't exactly the truth. I didn't really hate Macau, at least not more than I hated every other Made Men. I hated what he stood for and what he did, hated that he had asked Father for my hand like my opinion didn't matter. "Oh, Tay. I'm so sorry. Maybe I can tell Vegas and he can change Macau's mind." "Pete, don't be naïve. Vegas knew all along. He's Macau's brother and the future Capo. Something like that isn't decided without him being involved." 

"When did they make the decision?" After I was stupid enough to kiss him. "A few weeks ago, even before I came to visit." I couldn't tell him that it had happened at his wedding. Pete would only figure out a way to blame himself for my misery. "I can't believe him! I'm going to kill him. He knows how much I love you. He knows I wouldn't have allowed it. I would have done anything to prevent the agreement." Pete sounded remarkably like me in that moment, and while my heart swelled with love for him because of his willingness to protect me, I couldn't allow it. Maybe Pete didn't see it, but Vegas was a monster and I didn't want him to get hurt, not for me, not when it was already too late. "Don't get in trouble because of me. It's too late anyway. Bangkok and Chiang Mai shook hands on it. It's a made deal, and Macau won't let me out of his clutches." And I knew it to be true. Even if he decided he didn't want me, he would never admit it. I'd always thought I could evade marriage, had always thought I could figure out a way to go to college, to find a life away from the mob world. "I want to help you, but I don't know how," Pete said miserably. "I love you, Pete. The only thing that stops me from cutting my wrists right now is the knowledge that my marriage to Macau means I'll live in Bangkok with you." I'd never considered suicide a valid option, had never felt miserable enough to do it. 

But sometimes it felt like the only choice I had left in my life, the only way to decide my own fate and to ruin Father's plans was actually when to end it. But I'd never actually go through with it. I couldn't hurt my siblings like that, and despite everything I clung to life too much. "Tay, you are the strongest person I know. Promise me you won't do anything stupid. If you hurt yourself, I couldn't live with myself." "You are much stronger than me, Pete. I have a big mouth and flashy bravado, but you are resilient. You married Vegas, you live with a man like him. I don't think I could have done it. I don't think I can." I'd seen glimpses of Macau's darkness in Bangkok when he'd offered to kill Pete's attacker to make me happy, and afterwards in his eyes when he'd been covered in blood like Vegas. There hadn't been regret or guilt in his gaze then. Sometimes I thought he was the more dangerous of the two because he was less in control. Sometimes I thought he hid how messed up he was with his outgoing personality. "We'll figure it out, Tay," Pete said. I knew he couldn't do anything.

***

That evening Macau fucking Theerapanyakul actually dared to call my phone. I ignored him. There was no way in hell that I'd talk to him. Not after what he'd done. If he thought this was over, if he thought he'd won, then he had another think coming.