Part IV: A Meeting Most Awkward

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Kettu gathered his guitar case up off of the pavement, but not his gaze as he kept his head lowered.

“I don’t know your name.” The young woman piped up, stepping up to him.

“Maybe it’s better that way.” Kettu said quietly, keeping his gaze at the ground,

“Or maybe not.” The girl said, extending a hand toward him, “I’m Nina. Nina Andrews. I’m an art student at the University here in town.”

Kettu sighed, seeing no way of getting away from the introduction, he extended his hand and placed it in hers, shaking it gently.

“Kettu Kinson, struggling musician, all around nice guy, from what I‘m told.” Was all he could bring himself to say about himself. After all, after tonight, Nina would be nothing more than a passing memory in his life, and sooner or later, he would end up dead one way or another.

“Come on, the coffee shop is down the road from here.” Nina set a hand on Kettu’s shoulder and started guiding him back the way he came.

“Why are you doing this?” Kettu suddenly found himself asking. Not out of curiosity, but necessity, after all, this degree of kindness made Kettu suspicious Nina looked up at him and offered only an awkward little smile,

“Let’s just say I’ve been where you are. It’s a terrible, dark place that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, let alone a stranger.” Nina brushed a few loose strands of hair out of her face as the two continued to walk through the darkened streets, “You see, I’ve never been at home here in this body, it’s not what I was born to be.”

“So, uh, you think you were supposed to be a guy?” Kettu asked the question carefully. Nina giggled a little.

“No, I don’t suffer from gender dysphoria. At least that has the subject within the same genetic species group.”

Kettu stared at her for a few moments. If she wasn’t meant to be born in a man or a woman’s body, what was she meant for? Before he could ask, Nina continued,

“I dream a lot of being out in the woods, chasing my prey, of the life that I was supposed to have.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Kettu finally asked, shaking his head in confusion.

“I live with species dysphoria, I wasn’t born in the right body, or the right species. There’s no amount of surgery to get me back to what I am supposed to be. So I opted for suicide, hoping that somehow I would be reincarnated in the right body. I tried for years, overdosing, cutting my wrists,” She lifted up her sleeve to reveal the gruesome scars that zigzagged their way up and down her arm. “I tried everything, save for shooting myself or jumping off a bridge.”

Kettu felt that shame surfacing again, lowering his head to the concrete below. Her story was so strangely reminiscent of his own that it frightened him and took away a little bit of what he felt made him unique.

“So what made you decide to stop?” Kettu asked.

“I realized that I had to be here for a reason, some purpose other than to just exist, after all, I couldn’t have failed so many times at taking my own life if it weren’t some form of fate intervening, right?”

“Or you really suck at killing yourself.” Kettu said darkly.

Nina giggled, not exactly the reaction that Kettu expected.

“You could be right. It’s right up ahead.” She said pointing. Kettu looked up and saw a single illuminated sign amongst the shadowy outlines of other buildings, long closed for the night. The orange neon sign that hung suspended over the doors read, “The Den.” How fitting, Kettu thought, for being with someone who thought she was an animal.

The inside of The Den was a comforting atmosphere, with many earthy tones to the paint and décor, it didn’t really fit Kettu’s mental spectrum of such shops. He had always thought that they were either greasy truck stop type locations or snooty, high-end society get together places, but nothing like this.

“Hey, Nina! Good to see you!” A bellowing female voice rang through the coffee shop with an accent that Kettu could not place. He looked over to see a plump woman, possibly in her 40’s, standing behind the counter of the coffee shop, her white-blond hair was cut quite short. She reminded Kettu of a woman he used to see in his mother’s workout-at-home videos, if she had let herself go. “And who is this handsome young man with you? A love interest, I hope?”

Nina giggled again,

“No, Matilda, he’s a new friend of mine. Kettu, I’d like you to meet Matilda, she’s been working at The Den since I started University, and was one of the people who helped me out through the harder times in my life, Matilda, this is Kettu.”

“Kettu? What kind of name is that?” Matilda laughed. Kettu sighed, shaking his head.

“It’s some Eastern European word meaning Wolf, Apparently it is or was a popular name over there.”

“Wolf, huh? Seems you two already have something in common.” Matilda winked as she began pouring some black coffee into two large white mugs. Kettu looked over at Nina in confusion.

“Remember how I said I was a different species? I’m a wolf.” She smiled awkwardly.

“Huh. Go figure.” Kettu sat down at the counter, “Odd coincidence, isn’t it?”

“I’d say!” Matilda piped up, “The two of you meeting each other, and… How did the two of you meet, anyway?”

“We met on the bridge.” Nina said, “Kettu looked like he needed somebody to talk to, so I piped up. After walking and talking for awhile we came here to get a cup of coffee before we both go home for the night.”

“You two just met? Wow, Nina. You move fast, girl!”

“Matilda! We’re just a pair of people getting to know each other.” Nina barked.

“I don’t know, two of you walking into a coffee shop late at night, and leaving together, seems like a date to me.”

“Oh, god…” Kettu buried his forehead in his right hand.

“Oh, relax, boy!” Matilda laughed, “I’m giving you two a hard time.”

“I’m sorry about her, Kettu.” Nina blushed, “She’s known for her eccentric personality.”

“I should’ve been warned.” Kettu offered another fake smile as he took his coffee cup in his hands.

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