Rain Check?

~98~

I lay in bed that night, staring up at the ceiling, questioning all of my life's decisions. Thirty seven years worth of choices that I've made. Choices that have molded me into the woman I am today, whether those choices be of my own volition or not. All decisions having their own consequences, a cause and effect situation for every conscious choice I've ever made.

But this one? I'm not even slightly sure that I made the right choice.

The meal with his friends and family was boisterous, while I managed to keep to myself and not interject any commentary unless spoken to directly. Chris' arm often resting on the arm rest of my wheelchair, his hand occasionally reaching further down to caress my thigh over my dress. Small smiles exchanged as the children belt out the birthday song at the top of their lungs before Ethan tries so hard to shove his piece of cake into his uncle's face.

"I'm gonna grab your bag from your mom's car," Chris tells me as the evening begins coming to a close, several of his friends leaving together. His lips brush over my forehead once more. There's a comfort in the simple action, quite possibly for both of us.

I sit there in the living room, my fingers mindlessly fiddling with one another. "How are you doing, sweetie?" Lisa asks as she sits down next to me.

"Tired," I answer with a weak smile. My emotions have been nothing but a roller coaster all day long, stupid me thinking that I'd be home alone by now to wallow in all the uncertainties from earlier in the day. Instead I've been thrusted further into the life that I thought I was no longer a part of.

"I'll tell him to get you on home." She pats my hand before kissing my cheek, heading for the front door.

"Lisa?" She looks back at me. "Thank you for doing all these things to your home. For allowing me to be here."

Her eyes are filled with kindness, much like they've been every time I've been around her. "It's what we do for family, sweetheart." She gives me a wink before slipping out the front door to find Chris.

"Mom!" I call out towards the kitchen. She pokes her head in, dish towel in hand. "Think you and Scott can help me out the front door? Chris is already outside, no reason for him to come back in." She tosses the towel on the counter before calling down to the basement for Scott. I can hear him running up the stairs, out of breath by the time he reaches the top. "You didn't have to run."

"Future sister-in-law calls, you come running. It's in the rule book." My eyes go wide at him, blinking between he and my mother who thankfully doesn't seem to have understood what he said. "Right," he backtracks, "let's get you home and rested."

My mother takes hold of the back of my chair, pushing me further to the door. Scott opens it, reaching down and grabbing the front of the wheelchair. Once I'm set he gives me a warm hug and whispers a 'sorry' in my ear. Mom begins pushing me down the ramp towards where Chris' car is parked. I finally look up and my heart drops.

He's leaning against his car, talking to Tara.

"Ma, stop," I tell her urgently. She obliges, asking what's wrong. I subtly motion towards the driveway, hearing a faint 'oh' from behind me.  

  "There she is!" The saccharin pouring off her words making me cringe internally as I struggle to make myself smile at her.

  After being at Chris' home for a week, I finally asked why she hadn't come around. Whether or not I was the reason she stayed away or if they were just chatting via text. He shook his head, a small sadness creeping across his features. 

  "We haven't talked since you were in the hospital."

  Never one to leave well enough alone, I pried further. "Why is that?"