Rain Check?

~73~

Dempsey POV

  I watch his eyes, pleading with my own, begging for me to stop speaking. He knows as well as I do where I was headed in the conversation. There's a familiar sincerity hidden behind his blue eyes that I can see even amidst the cloud of fear covering them.  

 I agreed to his 'pause,' no matter how much my brain and heart were not on the same page.

 The rest of my time spent with him at his house felt off, not as simple as it was earlier in the day. I could blame the fact that I'm feeling better and have my head on a bit straighter than before. But really, it's because I know, or at least I think I know, where he stands. 

  However, I'm not there yet. And even after his generosity of trying to heal me I'm still questioning as to whether or not he and I could really be anything more than friends again. 

  Even now on Monday evening as he's driving Star and I home there's an air of awkwardness between the two of us. Dodger leans up from the back seat, resting his head on his daddy's shoulder as he weaves through the roads, getting closer to my house. "Don't worry, buddy. You can have your daddy back soon enough," I tell him with a smile, snapping a photo of the adorableness that is the two of them. 

  Chris keeps his eyes ahead, practically ignoring my comment while Dodger gives a small whine before looking over at me. "I'm sorry I hogged him, sweet boy." He leans into me a little more as I begin to run my hand over his soft fur. "I know you're looking forward to those walks you and daddy like so much, huh? No more running around in just the backyard. No more annoying little sister driving you crazy." On cue, Star whimpers from the backseat making me giggle at the timing of it. 

  Chris mutters something under his breath, unrecognizable. "What was that?" I ask. He shakes his head and doesn't repeat himself. "Seriously. If it was about me in some way then I should be allowed to hear it," I tease, trying to make light of our situation.

  "I said, it's back to single life." His eyes dance across the road trying to find a parking space close to my brownstone. 

  I bite my tongue, but only slightly. "You've been single for weeks now, Chris. Really it's just back to an empty house." I gather up my keys from my purse and reach around to clip Star's leash to her collar. 

  "Which I don't want," he states with confidence. 

  "Doesn't really matter now does it?"

  He throws the car in park roughly before unbuckling and jerking his body in my direction. "After everything these last few days, do you still not believe that I love you?"

  I take a deep breath, the shudder in my chest almost scaring me as I know the different ways this conversation could go. "Yes, you do things for people you love. Those things can be good and they can be bad. I'm not over being made a fool so it's a bit difficult for me to see you as a man who is in love with me."

  His forearm rests on the steering wheel as he watches me rant over something that I still haven't truly forgiven him for. "What more do I have to do, Dempsey?" he practically yells at me, his warm façade of the weekend waning drastically at my own behavior. "I love you! I am in love with you! I want to take care of you! I want to be with you!"

  And my teeth release my tongue, throwing out words that need to be said. "That would've been more believable if you hadn't shoved your tongue down that reporters throat!" 

  "I don't get you," he complains shaking his head in annoyance. "One minute I think we're on the same page and the next you're holding on to something that I can't change no  matter how much I wish I could! What is it going to take for you to forgive me? What is it going to take for us to be us again?" he begs for answers.