Chap 15 / Hophie - I'm trans..

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Prompt: Sophie finding out Hort is trans
TW: can cause dysphoria
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HORT POV

"Hort? Hort! HORT?!" I flinched together, and looked up at Lady Lesso. She was looking at me.. and so did the whole class.

"Yeah?" I mumbled.

"Are you listening?" She asked.

"Uhm.. yeah, yes, of course!"

"Then please answer my question." She waited for my answer but I didn't hear the question, though I didn't ask again, Lesso just looked away and took someone else.

"Hester?"

"It was Maleficent, whose story was based on rape." Hester answered, she got the 1.

I got the 10. I guess I wasn't that bad. We moved on with the class when a note landed on my table. I looked around, Sophie was looking at me. So I read it.

You've been zoning out for half an hour and you were picking your shirt up like something was bothering you, is everything okay?

I nodded, not wanting to write back. Then Lady Lesso walked up to me.

"We need to talk after class." She said and went back to her place.

Oh great. 

After class ended, I made my way to Lady Lesso.

"What was that today? Is everything okay?" She asked, then she looked at me.

"I.. hum..  I just feel.. dysphoric, that's all." I mumbled, she knew about my transition. She had to otherwise she could've changed my name on the name lists. 

"Oh, I'm sorry. If you want you can take a break." She said and smiled motherly, I smiled back awkwardly.

"No, it's fine-"

"It's better if you stay in your room than getting bad grades, Hort, I'll let the other teachers know and say you feel sick, okay?"

"Okay.. thank you.."

"Of course!" She smiled again, then I left the room.

"So? What was it about?" Sophie suddenly asked, I didn't notice her and flinched together.

"Nothing, uh.. yeah, I need to go to my room-"

"Are you sick, Hort?" She asked, I nodded.

"Yep, so.. yeah.." I headed to my room and let Sophie stand there. I didn't care, I felt like I was dying. The guards were looking at me, can they stop?

In my room, I laid on my bed, pulling the blanket over my body. As long as nobody sees me, I'll be fine. I really tried to convince myself that I'm fine. When I knew I wasn't. I knew that I'll always feel like this. Moments when my body still feels like.. it's not my body. When I have a chest that wasn't mine..

Or I think I'll have my period, god.. I shivered and cuddled myself more into the blanket, I reached out for my stuffed animal, a wolf, and held it tight against me. Then I fell asleep.
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SOPHIE POV 

I walked through the school to go to Hort's room. I didn't exactly believe that he was sick, he just seemed.. absent.

First, I knocked, then I opened the door carefully and saw Hort sleeping, his hair was messy and covered his eyes. He was laying to the side, I wasn't sure but I think he had his legs pulled up.

I placed the books and homework we had to do on his table and saw drawings. I took the paper, on the first was a boy drawn on, he was ripping his chest out, so the skeleton was seen.

The next one was also a boy, chest and down parts of him crossed over with black lines all around the person was stuff written on. I read it:

She

Girl!

Not a girl..

Tranny!

Disgusting!

I'm a boy! 

Stop being hateful..

Trans and proud?

I'm a boy!

My head turned towards Hort but he was standing right behind me, he aggressively grabbed my hand and I let the drawings fall. He pushed me away and against his bed frame.

"What are you doing here?!"

"I brought you homework! Sorry, Hort- I didn't- I didn't mean to-" I started but I saw how angry he was and stopped.

"I don't care! Leave!" He yelled, I looked down, then I headed to the door the moment he let go off me. 

"Fuck.." He mumbled 

"Hort..-"

"Piss off!" He barked and I flinched at how loud he was. I didn't know him like that. 

"I just wanted.. to say that I still see.. you as a boy. Okay? You're a boy.." I mumbled and waited for a small reaction from him.

"Go." Was the only thing but I didn't want to, so I walked up to him, I carefully took his hand. He didn't move it away.

"You left because you felt dysphoric, right?" I asked, he nodded almost unrecognizable.

"I feel a different kind of dysphoria, but I get that. When your body doesn't feel like.. it's yours.. I won't ever judge you for feeling that way, okay? You're a boy, that you always have been. And you always will be." I said, he turned around. Tears in his eyes, he looked down.

"Promise you won't tell anyone..?" He whispered.

"I won't!"

"Not even.. Agatha?" He asked. I stayed quiet for a moment. I wouldn't tell her.

"I won't, I promise. Pinky promise!" I held my pinky out but he just looked at me confused.

"What?"

"Pinky promise? You need to shake your pinky with mine, and then I will never break it!" I explained.

"Is a normal promise less worth?" He asked and I didn't know what to answer because it seemed actually like it..

"No! No of course not, it's just.. it's just a better promise, you don't forget it so fast because it's a pinky promise. It makes you remember what you told the other person!" I said quickly and hoped he'd go with it.

He did, he pinky promised and I smiled, then I kissed his cheek.

"I will bring you lunch, you can show me more of those l drawings or explain to me the whole.. transgender thing! If you want!" I smiled, he nodded.

"Sure.."

Then I left his room, he trusted me.. and it made me happy.

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Author note-

That's kinda how imagine how Sophie found out about Hort being trans, it's not the best I guess but I like it :)

Also, AGAIN, I'm nonbinary/trans myself if you wonder about the slur..

VOTE <3

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