Darkness And Light: One Shots - [The School for Good And Evil]

Chap 12 / Jaric - Dying

Prompt: Effy trying to kill herself (skins)
TW: cutting, blood.!! (Detailed)

This chapter can be very triggering and maybe cause relapsing if you've been sober from SH for a while, if so please skip this oneshot!!

And I mean it! SKIP IF YOU THINK YOU CAN RELAPSE!
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JAPETH POV

The room was so cold, it let my skin freeze but I enjoyed the pain.

Pain.. 

I sniffed and swiped over my mouth, fucking idiot.

How could I even think I matter? How could I even think about me being important? What the fuck?

Even though I tried, and I really tried, not to look at the table, it was just a small moment and I had grabbed the knife. Nobody will know.. Right? 

Nobody will notice. Of course they won't, I'm not worth it. Am I?

Rhian was mad at me. Mother hit me, again. The teachers yelled at me for something I didn't even do! It was Kei!

Aric wasn't talking to me after all, I've tried. I tried to talk to him about our fight but he didn't want to. He ignored me and pushed me away. Whatever…

The cold, sharp side of the knife slide over my skin. I didn't do anything yet, I was just thinking about the possibilities.. the pain would stop. It would end. I could die.. die and feel nothing.

And nobody would notice..

I let the knife slide over my arm a second time. Still cold, still such a familiar feeling. The next time it glided over my skin, I pressed it in. My skin split and just a few minutes later, blood was all over my hand, the knife fell on the floor. My breath started to fasten, I didn't start panicking though.

I let it happen.

I let the pain sink in..

My head started to feel heavy, I felt dizzy but tried to stay awake.. just a bit. With a thumb I fell to the ground, I leaned against the bed, I was sitting on.. the last thing I saw was the door getting ripped open..

Black hair..

"Japeth!" Someone yelled so far away from me..

I blacked out..
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ARIC POV

"Why don't you just talk to him?" Rhian said angrily. I exhaled.

"You don't understand that, Rhian! And why won't you apologize then, huh?!" I said back, he stayed quiet. I rolled my eyes and turned away.

Atticus ran towards us, he seemed in panic.
"Japeth has his room locked up," he said out of breathe.
"So?" Rhian asked annoyed.

"He doesn't open, or answer. I tried to look through the window outside but he wasn't inside.. I saw blood on the floor though-" before he even finished, I jumped up and ran to Japeth's room.

It felt like I was too slow, every step I made pushed me away from his room. I felt the panic inside me growing.

No. No. No!

I finally found his room, I knocked against it. Then I snapped and threw myself against it until it broke.

Japeth looked at me with half dead eyes.

"Japeth!" I said and kneeled next to him quickly. He passed out into my arms.

"No! No! No! NO!" I held his cut open arm. Tears falling down my face. I didn't know what to do. I panicked. No, he'll die!

Atticus and Rhian were standing in the door with Kei and a teacher.

"GO AWAY!" I yelled, then I remembered what Japeth told me. With a quiet whistle, his scims left his body. I moved my hand towards the door and one of the scims closed it, then I called it back and they placed themselves over his wrist like a bandage.

"You can't die!" I said crying, my hands full of his blood, but I didn't care. I stroked his hair away from his sweating face.

"Please.." I mumbled and pulled him closer, then I stood up, lifting him to the bed and laid him down.

"Please, Japeth, please.. Stay with me! Please!" I cried and held his hand.

Someone knocked at the door.

"Leave!" I yelled and breathed out. I placed myself next to Japeth, holding his hand, the scims around his wrist, stopping the bleeding.

"You can't leave me here.. I'm so sorry.." I said and kissed his cheek, then I leaned against his forehead and closed my eyes.

Few hours later

"Mh.." someone under me made. I opened my eyes and sat up. I haven't left his room nor his side. As much as I can remember, sometimes I heard someone knocking at the door but they left.

"Fuck.." Was the first thing Japeth mumbled, he scrunched up his face.

"Where am I?"

"In your room.." I answered and smiled sadly but relieved.

"Aric?" He asked and turned his head towards me.

"I'm here, Japeth."

"What happened?" He mumbled tired.

"Doesn't matter, you're back. You're here with me, right?" He nodded quickly, I saw tears running over his cheeks.

"I'm so sorry.." I whispered and leaned in, kissed him softly. My hands found their way and cupped his face, I couldn't care less about the blood. It dried anyway.

"I'm so.. so sorry." He said then and started crying heavily.

"No! Don't, don't even try! Hey! Don't cry!" I laughed, also crying. I kissed him again, and again and again. I kissed all over his face. Kissed his tears away. Kissed his lips over and over again.

"My heart is yours, Japeth." I mumbled and felt him nodding against me.

"And mine is yours.." he said back. We kissed again.

"Don't ever.. Ever. Do that again, you hear me?" I asked and he nodded again. With my thumb, I swiped away his tears.

"You're mine, you idiot. You belong to me. We belong together and you know that." I said, kissing him again.

"I'm sorry.."

"Don't apologize, dummy.. It's not your fault." I kissed him again. And again. And again.

And I didn't stop kissing him when he asked me to. And I didn't stop kissing him when he started laughing. And I didn't stop kissing him when he kissed me back.

I just didn't. 

I can't lose the boy I love. 

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Author note-

I want to apologize if anyone is crying. My headcanon is that Japeth was very suicidal back then and still is! So I decided to write about it.

If someone who reads this one shot who self harmed but has been clean for a while, I'm very proud of you! You're doing so good! <3

Vote <3