Football and Fairy Tales

Chapter 26

Devin

Seeing my sister and her scumbag of a new boyfriend laying a hand on Dakota touched a place inside me I hadn't realized I was keeping locked away. And now standing here looking at her with the words stuck in my throat, I feel lost. I deserve her to be mad or disappointed after the things we've shared with each other, but instead I see nothing but sadness.

I know Ed wants more for me and they all like Dakota. She and football are a light in my world right now, and it's for that reason that I'm doing this. I can't lose her, and my sister will make sure that happens if I don't do something now. I already lost two of the best things that have ever happened to me. My sister needs help and the system in a small town like this isn't equipped to take her. Her only chance would be to be arrested by committing a large enough crime that will get someone to take notice. Dakota will not be her victim. With money, all this would be different. Unfortunately, money is nonexistent on my side of the tracks. One day, I'll be rich enough to get her all the help she needs, but until then I need to keep Dakota safe. As long as Shelly thinks she can get to me through her, she'll continue to harass her or worse. I won't take the chance to lose someone else I love.

Love.

I do love her. My age may be young, but I care about her more than I've ever cared about anyone. There's a connection with us that I've never felt before and losing it is tearing me up inside. Selfishly, I'm glad I have the memories of us wrapped in each other's arms to carry me through this. I'll carry it with me to Alabama and on the field while I make the most of my college years. I'll do it for her by staying on the straight and narrow and away from anything that will tear me away from my goals. I should tell her all of this, but instead I continue to stare at her. She stares back before she gives me a small sad smile.

"My mom once told me that sometimes you have to take a leap to get the happiness you deserve. That leap might be filled with unknowns and even dangers that could tear away what you want the most, but without that leap you'll never know."

She looks away and I know she's letting me off the hook. I should feel relieved, but instead I feel like a stone is wedged deep in my throat threatening to explode.

"I get it, Devin. You're not ready for that leap. I'm more than sorry for what you've lost in your lifetime. I can't begin to imagine your pain but let me ask you a question. If you never allow yourself to move away from that loss and fill it with the people you know could make you feel whole again, where does that leave you?"

She opens the door, walks outside, and comes back in. The lead feeling in my feet doesn't allow me to move after her. She lays a gift that looks like it's seen better days. There's a rip in one side of the paper and the paper covering it is crumpled from being dropped.

"Save this for Christmas, okay?"

With that, she turns and disappears. She's gone and I let her leave. A kaleidoscope of emotions battle inside me. Anger at myself for not telling her to come back, sadness for the parents I can't bring back right now, hate for the sister I should love, and a loneliness I can't escape. A noise from the open doorway shakes me from my fog, and I realize I've been standing here like a fool staring at the same spot she left me in who knows how long ago.

"You're an idiot," Evan says.

He walks over to the bed and sits down. Rick follows him through but remains standing.

"You're a coward."

Ed stands in the doorway but remains silent which is probably a good thing because Rick isn't done with me yet.

"Girls like that come around once in a lifetime, man. Most of us won't meet ours until years from now, but you hit the same sweet pot of gold Rylan hit with Mattie. He was smart enough not to miss his chance, but you let yours slip through your fingers like quicksand. I don't get it. You can throw a football like a wet dream, but you can't fight for the girl? I'm lost, man. You're going to have to make me understand this one."

"Maybe I'm not as brave as you'd like me to be."

That answer sounded good in my head, but by the 'what the hell' look on Rick's face, he's not buying it.

"That's bullshit and you know it."

He doesn't wait for me to defend myself. Instead, he storms out the door past Ed, and heads toward his truck. I don't yell out because I know he's right. I'm a coward, but I'm also protecting myself. It's what I do. It's how I've learned to survive the last few years with my sister's wild and unpredictable behavior. Seeing Dakota hurt by her would be worse than me turning my back on the girl that's changed my senior year. I should feel good about that. Why then, do I feel like I've made one of the worst mistakes of my life? What the hell have I done?