Football and Fairy Tales

Chapter 13

Dakota

"Mom?"

She's busy looking through the paper when I get out of the small area where my bed is and make my way over to our kitchen table.

"Hmmm?"

Pouring a cup of coffee, I sit down and study her. She's a beautiful woman. Her dark hair and eye color is something we share. The rest comes from my dad. She appears preoccupied but I'm not fooled. When I'd asked them to give me room to breathe after I was diagnosed and treated for my cancer, they listened. Life returned them to the carefree parents I was used to and me to being the more responsible one. Or that's the way they let it appear and I'm grateful because I'm comfortable in that role.

"When did you know you were in love with dad?"

Peering over the paper, she arches a brow.

"Is there a reason you're asking?"

Yes, but I don't want her to know about the kisses I've shared with Devin. I'm not stupid to think its love, but those kisses felt different from the ones I've experienced before. I need something to compare it to. I shrug, before sitting down.

"No, I'm just curious."

Placing the paper gently on the table before wrapping her hands around her own coffee mug, she studies the scenery outside and I know she's going back in time.

"It was the day he took my ticket at the circus. Then when I watched him perform, it hit something inside me."

My mouth drops open. "Dad was in the circus?"

A light laugh escapes her lips. "Where do you think we get our traveling spirit from? And yes, he performed a trapeze act with a buddy of his. It was phenomenal. Their act was the biggest hit of the show. I was terrified he was going to fall off because his eyes kept wondering over to where I was sitting. He'd wink and my heart would drop into my stomach. I kept thinking I was going to be the death of this gorgeous man. I've never been so happy to see a performance end in my life."

"I had no idea."

Her eyes soften. "We didn't want you to get any wild ideas about the glamour of circus life. There's beauty in it in some respects. We built a family outside of our families that both your father and I still talk to from time to time. But it can also be a hard life. It can wear on the body and the spirit. Thankfully, your father never lost his spirit. He's as spirited as he was the day he found me in the crowd afterward and convinced me to eat lunch with him. My parents weren't exactly happy about it."

This part I know since my grandparents are well off and wanted more of a future for their daughter. They wanted her marrying a doctor or a lawyer, not a father who was more comfortable living on the road. I'm glad she chose dad. His kind spirit and love are what holds us together. He's our glue. Her parents finally came around, but it took my cancer to scare them straight. I am, after all, their only grandchild. There's a relaxed expression on her face when she takes a sip of her coffee before she continues.

"Every day for the week that the show was in town, he'd convince me to meet him for lunch and at night after their performances. He was hard to say no to. By the time the week was over, I knew there was something there. When he left town for the next show, my feelings were solidified. We kept in constant touch through letters. I knew my mom would try and intercept them so I gave him my uncle's post office box. Since it was my job to check it for him every day before I went to work at his furniture store, I knew I'd receive his correspondence."

Biting her lip, she gives out a contented sigh. "And then a couple months later he showed up at my uncle's furniture store and begged me to go with him. I said yes. I've never regretted that decision."

Staring down into my coffee mug, I process what she's told me. I'm glad I asked now. There's a part of my parents wondering ways I'd never understood until now. Now I feel ridiculous for ever feeling disgusted at their resistance to settle down. It was how they fell in love and how they lived. Strange to some but to me it makes complete sense. However, if Ren Daffodil ever gets a hold of this information, I'll forever be dubbed the circus girl. Smiling at the thought, I turn my attention back to our conversation.

"Feelings can show up pretty quickly then huh?"

I don't want to say love because I'm smart enough to know that emotions grow through time. Feelings, however, fit into another category. I know I've never felt the knot that's been in my stomach since I walked into that classroom and saw Devin sitting in that chair. It would be okay if I wasn't scared of the emotions. I have plans for my life that don't involve a guy. Plans I want to accomplish in my life first.

"We can't plan who our hearts attach to, honey. Just remember there's a difference between lust and love. If you enjoy their company at all times and not just the times where lust is involved, then there's a spark there that might be well worth discovering."

My mind goes back to the night at Frank's Tavern and the conversations we've had since. Devin's avoided me a lot this week and I know it's because he has the play offs coming up tonight. I also know he's avoiding me because he considers me a distraction. I don't need him to tell me to know. Unsure whether to be flattered that he's feeling the same emotions or not, I've given him the distance he's been trying to maintain. Mom clears her throat and I realize I've missed something.

"Is this about that boy that dropped you off last weekend? Don't think I didn't see the way he kissed you."

A blush forms on my cheeks, but I don't deny it. She nods.

"If it's meant to be honey, the heart will find a way. We don't always have control where it leads us."

She has no idea how right she is.