Better Choices (bwwm)

F O R T Y

I V Y

I miss Alex. That's the chapter of my week. I miss him.

Kimani and I baby-proofed the house and went shopping for more of the nursery items.

But it's been nothing but back-to-back boredom.

We tried to have fun but it wasn't the same without the guys there to throw in their stupid two cents.

So we lay around and we did different things but it just didn't feel the same.

Three whole days, I mean Alex did call anytime he could but most of the time he was super busy training which I don't blame him for.

It's finally day three and Alex is coming back. I started feeling sick again by day two so I decided it would be best to just stay home while Ki went to go get them.

I always get fall allergies but not sick, this year was the first time I've been consecutively sick which I definitely don't enjoy.

I'm in the bathroom peeing because I think my baby is stepping on my bladder so damn much that I always have to pee.

Once I flush I rest my hands over my eyes to rub the eye that's been itching but once I remove them to adjust to the light I see him.

"Alex" I turn to him and hug him tighter than I have before.

However, he winces.

"Are you okay?" I furrow my brows and he clenches his jaw before taking his sweater off.

His wound is bleeding again and that's probably why.

"What happened?" I ask.

"It opened back up, it doesn't hurt just burn" He takes a deep breath.

"Get it checked out before you go back, you have to leave tomorrow again so just be sure," I ask and he nods thankfully taking my advice.

Then just like that, the next day passes by and he's gone again.

I really want to tell him about all the pain my body feels and how uncomfortable I am in my skin and how much I just need him here with me but that would be selfish.

I'd rather suffer for a few days than take him away from what he's been dreaming of since he was seven. He deserves the world and I want to help give him that.

Before I know it my baby shower is here.

Alex is in the kitchen speaking to everyone probably because they're curious about him playing on an NFL team.

I am too but he won't even tell me his jersey number which is why I can't even understand where he's at on the field.

I know he's a rookie quarterback but what does that even mean again? 

I know that since he's a rookie he doesn't really play which he hates being benched because he thinks he can do better than the people who are playing.

He hasn't played the past two games but he still has to show up. I just think he likes having the jersey and being official.

Once Iris finishes glamming me up I look like a marshmallow.