Lost Love [H.S]

forty

26 March 2021

Today is the day.

We've got our twelve week appointment booked for in an hour and if all is perfect with 'Baby Lime' then we'll be telling Posie and Capri.

I'm a jittery mess while Harry's all smiley and excited because he gets to see our baby again.

We're dropping the girls off at Anne's house while we're out. I think she's a little suspicious about why we aren't taking them wherever we're going and it's not like we can tell her the truth right now.

I still haven't managed to wrap my head around the fact I am pregnant even though I have a tiny bump now that doesn't go away.

The baby is growing in there and they're growing well.

Harry is obsessed with my bump, I'd probably find it annoying how much he wants to be chatting away to the baby but I can't find it in my heart to tell him no when he missed out on this experience with Capri.

I think for him, he's trying to treasure every little thing that happens. He's a fountain of questions at the moment, asking how big the baby is, when they'll kick, what he needs to do when I'm in labour and when we can start doing the nursery.

In regards to the last question, I told him we can start looking at furniture after this scan when we know everything is okay.

We've spoken briefly about things such as names, paint colours for the bedroom and which bedroom will be their room. All conversations are cut short out of fear one of the girls will overhear us and figure it out.

Another major conversation was the tour.

Harry was ready to cancel it.

I managed to persuade him to go ahead, that it might be a few years before he gets to do a tour of this scale again and I don't want him to miss out on the opportunity.

He only didn't want to go because I didn't think it would be best for me to travel so much in the early stages of my pregnancy.

I'm overly worried that something will happen and Harry has been amazing with supporting me through it. He thinks it's best for me and the girls to stay home while he's in America.

It was a hard decision and I know being away from each other is going to be a horrible time but it isn't long.

It'll be a matter of weeks before I'll get to see him again and I can phone him whenever so it won't be too bad.

The girls and I are flying to New York with him in a few days for his first show and then we'll be heading home.

I already know taking those girls away from their daddy is going to be hard and heartbreaking for not only them but Harry as well.