The Silence Within

32. Do I Wanna Know?

"(Do I wanna know?)
If this feeling flows both ways?
(Sad to see you go)
Was sort of hoping that you'd stay
(Baby, we both know)
That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day"

Everything around me is flashy, expected for a Christmas party. Golden, red and black dominate the ambient and I find it very fitting. The room is enormous, with the capacity to fit hundreds of people easily, with high tables at the perfect distance from one another. Honestly, I would find it all charming and intriguing if only I wasn't so tense. My palms are sweaty, my eyes looking around the room to find whom I'm looking for and my stomach is doing flips. 

It wasn't my intention to come here out of spite, well, not at first. As the date grew closer I thought this Christmas party would be the first step of my rebellion. I'll show Nicholas that he doesn't own me and that I can be just fine by myself. I won't look at him, acknowledge him, or mind that he's here with his wife. I mean, that isn't confirmed but what Cassian told me seems legit. He must have planned to bring his wife here and that is why he didn't want me to attend. Too bad...

Also, I would like to say that the dress I'm wearing doesn't have anything to do with Nicholas. I wanted to be pretty for myself, hence why I bought this ridiculously expensive ivory, silk dress with an open back, and a bit of cleavage. It would be pretty arrogant of me not to notice the attention I'm getting, partly because it's out of my character and because I look good. 

While looking around the room my eyes finally landed on the reason for my tremor. As if I'm not depressed enough I quickly spotted the woman next to him and my breathing hitched. 

That must be her, right? With her hand on Nicholas's upper arm and the way she looks at him so smugly, I can only guess she is the one. Funny, I kind of thought she would be more... Is it bad of me to say ugly, or boring and uptight? However, to my dismay, she looks... Nothing like how I imagined her. I don't have the best sight because I'm pretty far from them but I can't help but notice her auburn hair in a sophisticated updo, and her black velvet dress that is the perfect mix of classy and hot.

-Oh, Violet, It's good to see you!- My head jerked from Nicholas's direction to a person in front of me, as I flinched from intrusion. 

-Hey... You too, Max.- With a bit of a fake smile I greeted Maxton and he made some grimace. 

-I hope I'm not bothering you or something, you were alone out here so I thought it was okay to join you.- God, I'm such a bitch. I'm not annoyed at Maxton, really, and I don't mind his presence. 

-No, no, on the contrary. I'm glad you approached me, I was a bit overwhelmed.- His face changed to a beaming one as he ruffled his hair a bit. I noticed he's not wearing his glasses, he looks good this way. 

-Good. Not good that you were overwhelmed, of course, but that I didn't interrupt you in anything or...- He left his sentence hanging in the air and I couldn't help but chuckle at his nervousness. Maxton is a bit geeky but he's not usually so nervous, it's cute. 

-Of course not. I was just lost in thoughts, thinking about where should I hide for the rest of the night.- His honest laugh made me feel more relaxed but my eyes still wandered around to find Nicholas. He is smiling at something, while his wife's hanging on his arm with a little smirk. For Christ's sake, woman, he's not going anywhere. Can she have her hands off of him for one second? 

-...and so I decided it won't be so bad.- Hm? Oh, right, Max. Since I wasn't paying attention I could only nod and smile, hoping it would be enough to fool him. It worked since he chuckled and again brought his fingers through his hair.