The Silence Within

18. I Feel Like I'm Drowning

"You keep dreaming and dark scheming, yeah, you do. You're a poison and I know that is the truth. All my friends think you're vicious, and they say you're suspicious. You keep dreaming and dark scheming, yeah, you do.

I feel like I'm drowning. I'm drowning. You're holding me down and holding me down. You're killing me slow, so slow, oh no. I feel like I'm drowning. I'm drowning"

While going through the rough week, thanks to my family and my ex-husband, I was too preoccupied to think about Nicholas. It's not like I completely forgot about him but I didn't feel ready to deal with it. Of course, I want him, and my plan to constantly be in his surrounding didn't change, yet it was temporarily on hold. 
Today is Monday, and Eithan told me he is coming this Saturday and he's bringing his girlfriend. I don't know too much about her but he wants me to meet her and as if that's not weird enough I also agreed. What possessed me to agree, I don't know. So, the past week I was overreacting about the whole deal and it took me a while to calm down. Now that I'm the usual composed self, I am ready to meet Nicholas. 

-Hello Melly. Is Mister Davis in?- Melly took a quick glance at me above her glasses and made some weird face. 

-Err... He is but... I need to check if you can enter.- Of course she does. No one can keep track of Nicholas's moods lately. I barely saw him after that meeting last week, but I heard him. He was constantly yelling at someone for every little thing, people are walking on eggshells around him, I mean more than usual. He was always strict but never unfair. I nodded and she picked up her phone, obviously calling Nicholas. After informing him that I want to go in and a bit of silence she told me to go ahead. I wonder what did he tell her? Was he annoyed that I am here and why did he allow me to go in without too much of a fuss?
With hesitant steps, I made my way to his office. I smoothed my dress a bit, wondering if it's a bit much. It's a nice olive dress with a high neck and it has a belt so it's empathizing my waist. I think I look good in it, at least I thought so this morning. Now I am not sure. My hair is up in a hairdo and I have pretty natural makeup yet it all seems too much. Well, too late now, it is how it is. 

-Good afternoon, Miss Hamilton.- He didn't get up from his chair but he did lift his head to look at me which is strange. Usually, he tries his best to ignore me. His eyes briefly observed my clothes before settling on my face. It made me a bit flustered but before I could show it I took a seat in front of Nicholas. He lifted his eyebrow in a questioning manner, probably wondering why am I acting so daring all of the sudden. 

-Hello Mister Davis. Long time no see.- I couldn't help but crack a joke and I swear the end of Nicholas's lips curled up a bit. Or it was maybe my imagination. Either way, it made me more relaxed that he is not as moody as I thought he would be. I let myself observe him for a second and I noticed how tired he seems. He has a short beard and some dark circles under his eyes. Even his clothes look a bit untidy, and his clothes are always so perfect like everything else he does. 

-Did You come here to chat, Miss Hamilton? If I have known you have so much free time I would have made you busier.- His tone is teasing but I sense slight irritation behind it. Honestly, I did come here just to chat, and just to see him. 

-No, Mister Davis, of course not. I wouldn't dare take some of your precious time. It's just... I heard some commotion in the past days so I wondered if I could be of any help.- I bit my lip and looked him straight in the eyes, hoping he would realize my suggestion. I don't expect it to be so easy but I want to at least try. After all, he didn't refuse me the last time, and he did promise we would talk some other time. I'm aware he wouldn't do anything while we are at the company but what about after? I am more than willing to meet him somewhere... private. 
Nicholas's gaze shifted lower for a second, and my whole body heated up from that look. At least I think it's that kind of look, it seemed pretty yearning to me. For a second it looked like Nicholas snapped from some kind of trance he's in and he let out a deep sigh, massaging his temples with his fingers.