The Silence Within

9. Have It All

"Well here's to the hearts that you're gonna break. Here's to the lives that you're gonna change. Here's to the infinite possible ways to love you. I want you to have it. Here's to the good times we're gonna have.

You don't need money, you got a free pass. Here's to the fact that I'll be sad without you. I want you to have it all. Oh! I want you to have it all. I want you to have it, I want you to have it all"

𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 9: 𝕳𝖆𝖛𝖊 𝖎𝖙 𝖆𝖑𝖑

𝔸s the days went by my nerves were getting tinner. My mind went through everything that could happen. I went through all the questions I could ask so we wouldn't be in uncomfortable silence, or maybe he prefers silence in which case I would be so silent he won't know I'm there.

I know it's not a big deal but until now all I've been doing with Nicholas was making him annoyed with me. It's nice to be on good terms for a change. I aspire to be more like him. He made his own company and it's so successful and known all around the world. And his personality... Well, I don't always like his personality but I do admire it. He seems so strong, so determined. Of course, he has to rule with an iron fist, so to speak, he wouldn't be where he is if he was soft.

So the fact that I would be alone on this trip with him is making me very anxious and nervous. I want him to like me, to acknowledge my efforts. Tomorrow is the day we'll depart and I barely saw him all through the week. He sent me the files with information about the company we will be having the meeting with. I learn all there was to learn about them, I even googled them and found bits of information about their personnel. With this knowledge, I am ready to blow Nicholas's mind. I will be smart and useful and he won't be able to find a single flaw in me. Or so I like to daydream and hopefully, it will become a reality.

-Are you with me? Sometimes I can barely keep up with you. You were going on about how awful he's been and now... Now you're going on a trip with him and you are speaking as if he's a God.- I rolled my eyes at my best friend as we continued our route. She has dragged me from the comfort of my apartment to look at the wedding dresses with her. I am not a sentimental person, and I don't really care about dresses either but I couldn't say no. Apparently, it's the duty of the maid of honor, which makes me question why did I even agree to it. 

-It's not like that Nicki. I realized that he kind of had a point there. He is a bit obnoxious but he is a good businessman. It would be useful for me to learn as much as I can from him. One day I... - I blushed a bit not sure why it's so embarrassing to say my dream out loud. With such silly ideas, people will only laugh at me. It's something I like to fantasize about and I don't feel comfortable telling anyone about it, not even Nicole. She seemed to notice my hesitation so she smiled warmly, waiting for me to continue.

-It doesn't matter. I just want to do my job better and he can teach me how.- Nicole didn't seem convinced but she shrugged and I relaxed a bit. 

-You don't give yourself enough credits. You can be pretty amazing and I'm sure you can figure things out by yourself. But if you think obnoxious jerk can help you then go on with it. - A loud laugh broke through me since it's weird hearing Nicole use such language. It's also funny that I used those exact words in my head to describe Nicholas.  

-Oh Nicki, you can really brighten my day. What happened to the girl who used "fudge" instead of "fuck"?-  Nicki blushed and it only made me smile even wider. After we were finished with our education we went separate ways and I feel like Nicole has changed quite a bit since then. Maybe her fiancee has something to do with that...