Before You | 18+ | ✓

37: jj

I've been doing better. My last encounter obtaining pills scared the ever loving shit out of me. I've been pacing myself despite the fact my brain and body are asking me for more.

I would have preferred to have done this during the day, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised by the fact it takes place in a dark alley in one of the worst parts of town. A part of me is worried that the tires are going to be stolen off of my Jeep.

I shove my hands in the pocket of my jacket and pull my hood up over my head as I wait. God, I'm going to get fucking mugged while I stand here like an idiot.

I lean against the brick wall, trying to do my best to look like I'm fitting in, except I feel like that just makes it look worse.

I should just leave.

I mean what the fuck am I doing here?

Well, the fact that my hands are trembling in my pocket and the fact that my skull feels like it's about to split in half as I go through withdrawals. That's what's keeping me rooted in my spot.

Out of the corner of my eye, I spot a hooded figure walking down the sidewalk towards me. A bad feeling washes over me and I'm tempted to just walk away from the deal. What the hell was I thinking finding a drug dealer on craigslist? That is exactly how you get murdered.

"You John?" He asks, and I nod shortly. I at least used enough logic to not use my real name.

"Yep." I confirm and the guy continues walking.

Am I supposed to follow or what?

"You coming?" He asks, glancing back at me, his facial features a shadow underneath the street lamps.

I push off of the wall and take a few long strides to catch up to him. "You got it?"

"What's a pretty boy like you need drugs for?" He asks, a hint of amusement in his voice.

"Do you want my money or not?" I reply flatly and the guy snorts as he turns down a less well lit street.

He reaches in his pocket and pulls out a singular pill. "Here."

"I asked for a whole bottle." I say, trying to keep my nerves down but this whole thing is making me really nervous.

"How do I know you're not a narc? Take it." He says, watching me carefully.

I take it from him and I'm about to put it in my mouth when he laughs. "What?"

"Chew it and then show me. It works faster that way if you didn't know that."

I nod and chew the tablet in my mouth, the chalky taste makes me want to wrinkle my nose in disgust, but I open my mouth to show him, waiting for the okay to swallow it.

The guy nods and it goes down rough. I can barely get it down, but it's enough for the guy to believe I'm not a narc. "You got the money?"

I bite back a quick remark and instead pull the cash out of my pocket before handing it over. He flips through it quickly, counting through the bills before pulling the baggie out of his pocket and placing them in my hand. "See you next time," He says with a knowing smile.

"This was just a one time thing," I stammer out, not wanting to give him the wrong idea.

"Yeah, sure." He laughs, "You have my number if you need it."

The whole thing has shaken me to the bone, but it's slowly drifting away the closer I get to my car as the high kicks in faster than ever before.