Before You | 18+ | ✓

10: jj

"I know that you don't need me to lecture you, but I'm going to do it anyway. What the hell are you thinking?" Billy asks, putting her hands on her hips as the stem pulses on my knee underneath the heating pad.

"I'm cleared to practice and play like normal." I respond and she frowns.

"But you're not one hundred percent yet. It can take up to two years after surgery to play the way you used to."

I know.

I fucking know.

"How much have you been running?"

I flash a charming smile at her, "However much helps you sleep better at night."

"JJ, do I look like I'm in the mood to laugh right now?" Billy asks and I do my best not to let the pain show on my face once she resumes her massage on my knee. I inhale through my nose as she continues. "You need to take it easier. If you don't, I'll be forced to tell your coaches how often you're in here for treatment."

Billy understands better than anyone what my knee injury means for me. She was there for the beginning of the recovery where I was pissed at the world that this happened to me and then she essentially told me to get my shit together.

In a way, she's my mom away from home considering my parents are on the other side of the country.

"I'm fine, I promise."

She removes the heating pad and the stem before pressing her fingers into an especially sore spot. I can't hold in my hiss. "Just shut up and let me try to fix you. I'm not kidding though. Lay off the running or you're going to spend this season the same way you spent last season."

I can't stop running. It's the only thing that helps me breathe easier. The last two weeks have been rough without Marley.

I spent seventeen months dreaming about her every single day. I never expected that she'd be calling me a liar a month after finding her again.

Fuck, for how short she is, Marley sure does move quickly. I need to apologize and explain.

"Marley, I'm sorry." I call out, nearly caught up to where she is.

"I don't want to talk JJ. Go away." She says, moving to open her door and in a panic, I slam my hand onto it, using all my strength to keep it shut—in the process, pinning Marley against the car with my front against her back. "I want to leave."

I want to fix all of this and make it better for her. I don't know how. I'm used to being the fixer in my family, but how do I fix this?

"I know and you can. Just please let me drive you home. I need to explain-" I am desperate. I need her to listen to me so I can try and make her understand why I hadn't said anything.

She uses what little room there is between us to turn around, looking up at me with a distant hard look. I don't like her looking at me this way. Her blue eyes are so cold and it scares the shit out of me.

"Explain what? What do you possibly have to say that would make me trust you again?"

No no no.

Marley.

Her hands are shaking and I'm gripping the car to hide mine. "Marley, I didn't know what to do when I found out that it was you. I was going to tell whoever his girlfriend was that he was cheating on her and then you were standing there and it felt like a damn miracle you were back in my life."

It was a miracle.

Marley is my missing piece that makes me feel whole.

It almost killed me to walk away from her last time.