Jensoo- Love Inevitably

"Jisoo's First Heartbreak"

JISOO's POV

How does it feel when you look back at a part of your life that is both beautiful and painful at the same time?

Do you smile from pain?

Or do you cry from happiness?

Does your laughter die into tears?

Or does your painful whimper turn into hallow laugh?

These are the things that I ask myself, the moment I set foot in front of the house that I once called mine.

I used to convince myself that my past will never affect me again for it took me years of blood and tears to move on from that. It's been so long that I thought I would forget about it.

But hell I was wrong.

Cause the moment Jennie and I arrived here in Jeju last night, I was instantly bombarded with unwanted memories that I thought I had already buried in the deepest part of my heart.

I don't usually cry but God, it took me a great deal of courage not to shed tears that time.

Well, how can I not?

When this place means a lot to me...

I heaved a deep breath and stared at the lovely bungalow house and a tear suddenly escaped from the corner of my eyes.

Fuck these memories...

And fuck all those times when they made me believe in family and love, only to get my heart all broken and never recovered.

Fuckin liars.

"Stop torturing yourself and leave now, Jisoo."

"It's been 15 years already. Do you think that going here will give you closure? Or a peace of mind?"

"You don't fuckin need them." I uttered to myself, convincing that it's time to walk away. I was lost in my train of thoughts when an old lady approaching suddenly spoke which jolted me from where I stood.

"Excuse me young lady, I don't mean to startle you, but I noticed you staring towards this house for quite some time now."

"Are you looking for someone?" The old lady asked as she squints her eyes, trying to recognize who the stranger was. She walked towards me and the moment she got a closer look, the old woman gasped and her demeanour suddenly turned warm.

"Jisoo, is that you?" she asked in disbelief which caused me to step a little backward.

"I'm your Ahjumma Seong. I used to babysit you whenever your parents weren't around."

"I'm the caretaker of this house now." She beamed warmly as she opened the gate and let me in. She must have seen the hesitation in my eyes and so she stopped from her tracks and held my hand.

"This is still your home sweetie."

"Don't worry, your Mom and her new family only come here every summer and Christmas. I won't tell your Mom that you paid a visit here." she uttered assuring and that was the only time I let her ushered me in.

"You should have informed me about your arrival Sweetie so that I could have prepared your room in advance. But don't worry, I always clean it every week." The old woman narrated as she guides me in.

"Oh, no need for that Ahjumma. I'm staying with a friend. I only dropped by here to look for something." I answered as my eyes roamed around the familiar place and I can't help but smile bitterly.