if you see these men, RUN. || (DAVE EAST) (CHRIS BROWN)

Chapter 76

"Okay?"

"And...I'd been hurt." He huffed. "I'd lost Nessa forever and I couldn't even say I was sorry. So did Jen! But during the first few years of having you, Jen and me had been keepin in contact through writing letters. We'd come to some common ground and started getting along. Bonding over you and grieving over Janessa. She told me about all the stuff she'd been doin and how excited she was to see you when she got back. We expressed how we felt about each other after all these years and it felt like we mighta been workin towards sum. Had me get my hopes up thinkin we'd be together once she got back...but one day the letters stopped. Ion know what happened. The letters to me...stopped at least. But she kept sending yours..."

"Mine?"

"You rememba them lettas from 'mommy in heaven?' The ones you only got and Eli never did."

I gasped, remembering very faintly. Pops used to tell me Janessa was writin me lettas from heaven and would give em to me on my birthday. Up until I was bout 6 a 7. Then they just stopped.

"Yeah. I remember."

"Those were from Jen. She'd been writing to you the entire time. Sending you that money and those cool new toys for you and your brother." He smirked, reminiscing.

"Wait so- why'd they stop?" I questioned.

My pops took a deep breath. "They didn't. I got...jealous. And I hid the letters from you. Told Elroy to pick up the mail and hide em too. You'd been getting them every year on ya birthday and it made me sick. How much Jen said she loved you. How she never mentioned me in not one letter. You shoulda been gettin em up until yo 18th birthday. But I'm sure you probably would've figured out these 'lettas from mommy' had been from someone who'd actually been alive. Your common sense kinda kicked in early."

"Wow..." I scoffed.

"And I apologize fa that shit. You don't have to forgive me but I wanna let you know, I am sorry fa everything I put you and yo brotha through. I'm the reason fa most ya problems ta day." My dad croaked, tryin not to cry in jail.

Couldn't let his cellmates see a sign of weakness.

I almost wanted to cry with the nigga but I held it in. Did enough cryin with Pri last night. I was cried out fa a good 3 years at least.

"I made some dumb ass decisions durin my life time." He swallowed, clenching his jaw. "But Q...cut yo mama some slack please. She was scared to reach out because she didn't know how you'd react. And I was kinda...in control of the contact tween you and her. Threatenin that if she told you the truth, I'd do sum. Knowing I'd do nothin. You don't understand how fucked up my family treated Jen after she had you. Talkin, keying ha car, breakin into ha crib. Ha side wunt no saints either. Callin ha all kinds a sluts and bitches. Cousins threatnin to jump ha in favor of Janessa right at ha memorial service. SO she had ta leave."

"Wish she coulda told me soona instead a lyin." I huffed. "Wish she coulda saved me from all the shit that I had to go through. Why she ain't reach out when I got olda?"

Pops shrugged his shoulders. "Ion know. That's sum you gone have to talk to ha about. Last time I spoke to ha was when I called and asked if she could take you and Eli in."

"Shit crazy."

"It is. But Ima tell you right now. You payin fa ha broken window and you gone apologize. Cause she got a side a the story too and you gone listen. It wunt right how you reacted." He spoke, actually parenting me for once. And...I listened.

"Aight..."

"You gotta job?" He questioned.

"No."