Star Dancing - Fem Reader

These chains

A/N: I know this one is very very short, but I just kinda wanted to get this little piece on paper. Thanks y'all for the support ❤️. Love you all.

After the very stressful day of reuniting with the mother, you decide to rest for the rest of that day. Spending a chill day with Kai'sa is definitely what the doctor ordered. Being pampered felt pretty nice, a rare occasion to say the least.

The next morning, the girls have a business meeting. Which they quite forcefully opposed you going to, including Yasuo. After a long argument you eventually caved in.

You wake up around 8 am, the house is dead silent.

"Hm, they musta left already" you murmur to yourself as you peek outside your bedroom door.

You sit down on the bed and check on your leg to see how it's healing, it's getting easier to walk on and it doesn't look as bruised. Then, basking in the silence, you notice those chains. Sitting in the corner. Something compels you to grab them and sit back on the bed.

Feeling the weight in your hand, observing the dried blood mixed with rust reminds you of those moments. Those moments of adrenaline, that were nowhere near unfamiliar. Yet, still undesirable. It was such a great feeling, feeling invincible. But it's one of the hardest falls once you come down. The rotting feeling of guilt churns in your stomach as you grip the bloody chains in your hands. The memories of all the killings you have done flash before your eyes, all the fathers..mothers...brothers and sisters you've taken away.

For what? For what truly did you do that for? Because you were told to? Self-defense? Protecting others you love? Maybe so, but the guilt somewhat alleviates when reminiscing on the most recent outing. The violence felt...somewhat justified. Violence is violence, killing is killing and it still is a horrible feeling. That event doesn't feel as bad, it's a very conflicting feeling based on your beliefs and experiences.

But it feels...okay? You were saving your sister, you've been the hero before definitely to your distaste. But this, these chains. These fucking chains, they feel heavier in your hands. Heavier in terms of meaning. These are a representation of forgiveness, a rather ironic symbol of such a freeing feeling. The concept of symbolism is quite a subjective concept within itself either way.

Maybe this sensation of "healing" the guilt, is your path to forgiving yourself for all you've done. All the lives ended and ruined. These chains, these fucking chains.

The images in your head aren't causing you fear or discomfort. Not that they are providing pleasure by any means. You feel as if you are a neutral observer, learning from the experiences playing in your mind. Maybe it's time for you not to be afraid of yourself, not to be afraid of what you've done or are capable of doing. You are capable of doing the right thing, capable of not hurting or killing.

Everyone else that matters accepts your past, maybe it's time to accept your own past as well.

These chains. These fucking chains.