On the Fence

Chapter 39

I swallowed with guilt as my heart ached with each beat at his words, both emotions entering my eyes as I looked into his. He released me and framed my face with his hands, that gentle, patient look coming to his face.

"I meant what I said, Taylor. Take the time you need, it's ok, but I had to say it. I would regret it forever if I didn't tell you that I want you to be mine, to take care of you, and wake up next to you every morning. That I want to be your man and your family. I love you, Taylor." He had me crying again by the time he was finished. He bent his face back to mine and kissed me slowly, wiping at the tears rolling down my face.

"Shhhh, hey," he said in his comforting deep voice. "I have something for you. I wanted to give it to you, but when you didn't show, I couldn't bring myself to leave it with Jeff."

He reached into his pocket and brought out a small black box, and my heart rate increased as I stared down at it. Aiden's laugh broke me out of my stare, and I looked back up at him.

"Relax, Taylor. I'm not proposing. I think you just paled three shades," he laughed again.

His laughter pulled a smile from me, leading to a laugh of my own before I dropped my face in one of my hands from embarrassment. I looked back up at him, blushing, and I bit my lip, feeling the heat of it up my ears. He watched me with a gentle expression as he handed me the box.

I felt self-conscious as I took it from him and opened it. Inside was a beautiful silver necklace. The pendant was a horse running and where a brand would be on the horse's hindquarters was a very tiny jewel; it was the birthstone for the month that the accident had happened. My fingers touched the silver horse with flowing mane and tail. It was beautiful, and tears crept into my eyes when I looked at the jewel.

"Aiden," I started, but he gently cut me off.

"Taylor, you've overcome so much. It deserves to be recognized and acknowledged. Overcome but never forgotten, as it should be. I hope it can remind you of how strong you are while I'm away," he finished in almost a whisper.

I reached down, pulled it from its box, and handed it to him, turning around for him to put it around my neck. I watched his hands come around my front and put the necklace around me, fastening it. His hands lingered on the back of my neck, and he bent in close to plant a kiss on the back of my neck, making my eyes close in response to his gentle, loving touch.

"One month, Taylor, and I'll be back," he whispered into my ear. I reached up and grasped the pendant with my fingers, listening to his voice in my ear. His arms wrapped around me from behind, and he buried his face into my neck, swaying us back and forth a little. Another kiss, and he released me, whispering, "I have to go."

My stomach clenched, and I turned around, throwing my arms around his neck, almost knocking his black Stetson off. Another sob escaped me, muffled by his neck as he held me tightly to him. He pulled back and gave me one more passionate kiss before he turned and walked back to his truck. He paused with his hand on the door and one on the cab and took a breath before looking back at me.

He climbed up into the truck and shut the door. I saw him turn his face, and our eyes met in the side mirror of his truck. I couldn't tear my eyes from his as a small, sad smile pulled at his lips. Slowly with our eyes on one another in the mirror, he tipped his hat and brought his fingers up to the rim. He then broke our connection to look ahead as the truck slowly started moving.

I stood in the middle of the gravel road and watched it slowly get smaller and smaller until the cloud of dust swallowed it and then gone from my sight, my fingers never leaving the pendant I wore.

Fresh tears rolled down my face as I rubbed the pendant and turned to walk back to Pearl, still standing where I had left her. She seemed to smile and reached forward with her nose to nuzzle my stomach like she was trying to comfort me in my distress. I reached out and gave her a good scratch on the forehead and jaw before I walked back to her side and mounted up.

We had a decently long ride back to the ranch, and I knew she was tired, so I wasn't about to run her. We started off, and I relaxed in the saddle as Pearl walked along at a leisurely pace. She would need a bath when I got her back to the ranch; she was frothy from sweating so much during our frantic chase to catch Aiden. I kept her to the side of the road and was grateful once we passed the last turn-off and were back on Aiden's land again. The close call with the oncoming truck was still fresh in my mind, causing me to heave a sigh.

I arrived back at Thunderbird ranch and took a quick look around as I continued by with Pearl; there was no reason for me to stay, and I felt another cry coming on. Pearl slowly walked and crested the hill, but this time, I didn't look back. I continued until I knew it was out of sight, and still, I didn't look back.

We reached the watering hole just as the sky was starting to light up with oranges and pinks. Pearl waded across the watering hole, and I pulled her up to a stop, sliding off her. I dropped the reigns on the ground so she would stand and unsaddled her.

I set the saddle down on the picnic table and retook her reigns. I removed my boots and set them next to the saddle on the picnic table, and slowly I walked Pearl into the pond barefoot. I walked her out until the water was up to her shoulder, and I started washing her.

It was a methodical task and left my mind free to hover in the numbness I felt at the surface of my heart. I knew a deep, gut-wrenching cry was brewing just under the surface, but I couldn't allow that until I had taken care of Pearl and crept up to my apartment, where no one would hear me.

All I could think of was Aiden as I washed the sweat from Pearl's neck and back. His touch, smell, voice, and look in his eyes reassured me. And now he was gone. My fingers drifted up to the pendant around my neck, and a deep sigh escaped me.

I grabbed Pearl's bridle and walked her out of the water after I had finished. I left her to stand as I cleaned my feet and slipped my boots back on. I grabbed the saddle and blanket, and after running my hands over Pearl's back like a squeegee, I set the blanket and then the saddle on her back, leaving it uncinched. I took her bridle in my hand, and the two of us, dripping wet, walked back up the lane towards Bridlewood ranch.

I ignored the looks of the other ranch hands around and kept my eyes on the ground as I walked Pearl over to the stables. I reached up to open the door when a large, warm, tanned hand covered mine. The other hand joined ours and pushed the barn door back for me.

I didn't say anything to him; I just led Pearl to the back stall, silently set her saddle on the stall door, and reached up to unbridle her. When I was finished, the stall door was opened and closed behind me as I trudged over to my spiral staircase. I reached behind, grasped that large warm hand, and led him up the stairs with me in silence.

I unlocked the door, and we both entered. I went and gathered up some clothes and allowed him to shut the door. I went into the bathroom to shower and change, still feeling numb from my emotional goodbye. I walked out of the bathroom, towel-drying my hair, and looked up to two steaming mugs of hot chocolate being set down on the small side table near the couch. I walked over, sat on the sofa, and leaned into the offered embrace.

"Did you make it in time, Baby Girl?" I nodded from Tyler's chest and hugged him closer to me. "Do you want to be alone, Darlin?" he asked, looking down at the top of my head.

I shook my head and managed to whisper, "Not really, but I may ugly cry, Ty, and I know that might make you uncomfortable." A small chuckle escaped him as he started rubbing my back.

He leaned in, kissed the top of my head, and said in a gentle but amused voice, "Not me, darlin. I've held my sisters and mother through plenty of those, and by the sound of it, you haven't been held enough, baby girl." A small sob escaped me at the truth of his words, and his arms tightened around me as the floodgates were opened at last, and I cried out my heart onto his chest. It was going to be a very long month ahead.