On the Fence

Chapter 29

"Brant," I whispered in shock. He kept his eyes on mine as he waited for me to process what he had just asked me. My eyebrows wrinkled in guilt and emotional pain. "Brant, I can't. I'm sorry," I said, swallowing with emotional pain, trying to pull away from him.

He wouldn't let me go, asking, "You trying to tell me you don't have feelings for me?"

"No, that's not what I said."

"You aren't making sense, Taylor. You have feelings for me but don't want to be with me?"

"I didn't say that!" I was starting to get upset at myself. I could see his growing confusion, which only added fuel to the distraught emotional place I was finding myself in.

"Wait, you do or do not have feelings for me? Even though you don't want to be with me?"

As the words gushed out of me in exasperation, I finally freed myself from him, "Jeez, Brant, I'm in love with you, but I can't be with you because you're not the only one! I don't know what to do. I'm sorry. I wish it weren't like this! I wish things were simple!"

I had turned away from him, clenching my fists in frustration and wanting to cry as I felt anger toward myself. I felt him whip me back to him, and then his lips were on mine, his hands framing my face, his passionate kiss making me melt into him. My hands unclenched, reaching up to hold his wrists as he kissed me. I realized I had tears running down my face when our kiss turned salty.

He leaned back from me and looked down into my tearful eyes with a look that held so many things; shock, relief, amazement, love, longing, and a twinge of hurt.

"I'm so sorry, Brant," I blubbered at him.

"Sorry that you're in love with me?"

"Sorry that you're not the only one and that I can't be with you right now."

"Sounds like you've already chosen, Taylor," he whispered, a hurt look coming to his face. "If you're with him already, whoever he is, it sounds like you've already made up your mind."

"I'm not with him either, for the same reason, Brant. I can't just be with him when I have feelings like this for you, either."

His beautiful green eyes were searching mine, and his look became more and more intense as I talked; he was realizing the depth of my feelings for him and how torn I was.

"I'm very confused right now. I'm sorry. I wish things were different, that I only loved one of you. I don't want to hurt you, and I don't want to hurt him either. I'm so sorry," I half-sobbed.

He clarified, "But you do love me?"

My bottom lip trembled as I looked up into his beautiful green eyes, whispering, "Yes."

As he looked into my eyes, a beautiful smile broke out on his face. His lips were back on mine in an instant. One of his hands slid to the back of my head, burying his fingers into my hair, as the other encircled my waist to pull me to him. I trembled as he held me close, kissing him back, sighing with the feel of him so close.

He was making my heart ache in the best way, with his tender touch, while his lips were moving on mine, his tongue intertwining with mine, was setting me on fire for him, making me feel like I couldn't get close enough to him.

He stole my breath as his kiss became more fervent, passionate, and possessive, causing a small moan to escape me. I wanted more of him, his touch, so my hands started searching for some more skin to caress. Finding none, I pulled his shirt up, untucking it at his belt, to slip my hands underneath. I heard him suck in a breath and groan at the contact of my palms running around his waist to cling to him.