Caim

60 | distress

"Caim" I said his name in a whisper, maybe if I don't speak loud, this dream will continue. I lifted the blanket enough so he can see the empty space and nodded my head.

it took him only a moment before I was snuggled against him with his hands around me and head resting against his shoulder. the bed was small but we somehow fit.

"Promise me, you would never do this to me again?" he pulled me closer to him. I looked up into his eyes and saw the frustration, the fear in them and I nodded.

"Please, I'd die before I want to see you like this again" we stayed like that for a few quite beats until I fall asleep. and the last thing i felt was his lips on my forehead, lingering there.

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I woke up with a burning sensation behind my eyes and an empty cold bed. the covers were bunched on the side, not covering me wholly. I tried to sit upright but failed when my arms gave out and fell back down on the bed, groaning. I looked around and found the same blank walls, tilted photo frames, disinfectant infused air. i was in my hospital room.

a sigh left my lips, I want to go home. this place is giving me severe homesickness even though I don't consider that house my home. I want to eat something, drink water and maybe get the hell out of this place. i was busy dwelling into my self pity when the door to  my room opened and surprisingly Lucas walked in with Grace in a wheel chair? why is she out of her bed?

I wanted to ask her questions but then I remembered his grandson and shut my mouth. if she's here then he must be in this building somewhere. Lucas wheeled her in until she was in the middle of the room, beside me bed. Lucas dropped his hand from the wheel chair and walked across my bed to sit on the couch against the window. it surprised me how him stepping inside my room didn't irk me as much as I thought it would. 

"Hello Miliani" she smiled her relaxing smile. I smiled back. Grace looked good. her hair was pinned pack into a neat bun, eyes shining and skin glowy. she was recovering well and it was a relief. however bad her grandson is but Grace, she's an angel.

"Grace how are you?" I asked trying to sit back up but failed once again and before i could fall back, Lucas helped me. His hands went behind my back as he lifted me up into a sitting position. all through this, I stared at him. searching was something I couldn't name. softness? anger? guilt? truth? but found nothing. maybe this is how the mafia works, they know how to leave emotions out of their brain. 

it made me feel like a fool to easily trust him once again. i turned my head and silently thanked him, he nodded and went back to his seat on the couch.

"I'm good as new? how about you dear? are you okay?" she rolled her chair beside my bed before taking my hand in her warm ones. i stared at our hands, its strange how many people have held my hands in the last twenty four hours but her one stroke is making feel relaxed, happy.

My focus was on her fingers gliding across the back of my hand when she called for Lucas and told him to wait outside. my eyes snapped to hers.

he walked out without asking anything back. and I was left behind with nerves ticking in my brain.

"are you really okay Mili?" her age lines were curving from the corner of her mouth the side of her nose. a small mole on her chin and nose. it was stupid, I know I am not fine and I was trying as much as I could to dodge the question. I don't want to lie to her but I also cant tell her the turmoil I've been feeling because of Caim. I cant tell her how many secrets he kept from me when I kept asking him. how many times he made me look like a fool when I trusted him and he tossed the trust away every time it was his Organization involved.

He didn't even tell me that he was with my Sister, that he knew my sister. that he gave her a locket which is the sole purpose to why she is dead right now. how I got hurt because I was protecting the lockets, he don't know how difficult it is for me to accept the fact that I love him when my sister, my dead sister was also in love with him. how?