Voiceless Love

43. Stop it, Levi

Calm down, I told myself, nearing Zoey's house.

After she texted, I, calmly, went to my third and fourth period, trying to think about something else other than Brady and him being pushy or Zoey, perhaps secretly dating someone else. And yet I'm on my way to her house, where I'm going to be around her, because she asked me to come, and I said yes.

God, what is happening?

I need to stop with this assumption about her. I'm already pissed off enough.

Me:
I'm here

I texted, pulling up to her house. Seconds passed and I suddenly saw her open the front door to waltz on down to her driveway. And may I mention that it was just her car parked in it, meaning her dad wasn't home. And she must've not had therapy today because it seemed like she'd been home for a while. She greeted me with a wide smile, skipping down and around my car to open the door for me. And as soon as I pulled my keys out of the ignition, she tugged on my arm for me to get out.

I noticed she had changed her shirt, no longer wearing an oversized white t-shirt tucked into her jeans by a light blue tank top. It looked good with her pale skin.

She seemed eager to get me inside whilst showing me no other emotion than happiness. Her fingers were curled tightly around mine, motioning me to go faster. And I did, just not as much as she wanted.

I was tired. Almost mentally. From all the back and forth today. My thoughts on her and everything Brady said back at school. I kept thinking about how he carried himself the moment the words left his mouth. He was confident in his way to somehow convince me by mentioning women's names. And then, didn't show any of that when I told him the truth about Zoey and me. Well, the unreal truth.

I don't know why I said that. We're not dating. But, I just wanted to see him break and react to the reality of everything that's been going on since Zoey got here.

Holding the door for me to take it, I stepped through, into her house. And I thought we were going to the couch to "hang out" but she pulled me towards the kitchen and she led me down a hallway, strolling past several rooms. Like some, I recognized, a laundry room and a bathroom before we approached a double screened door. Opening it, she pulled me through and we were now in her backyard because the first thing I saw was three large gardening beds, filled with healthy-looking greens, followed by several rows of rose bushes that seemed to be fully bloomed. Star jasmine covered the last row of fencing after the last rose bush and spread a few feet out onto the grass.

It smelled nicer out there, even though, it was getting hot, the vibrant hues of the roses caught my attention quickly.

Zoey had let go and allowed me to roam free around the beds and smell the flowers. There were also small, yellow flowers growing among the grass, similar to the ones we saw at the carnival while on the Ferris wheel, off in the distance. They were pretty so I watched my step, trying not to smash them under my foot. I then stood in front of the first rose bush that grew these pink floyd's with their bold distinctive color. I read the tag for each bush, grinning at every unique rose's name. And they had so many kinds. Orlando, Nena, Sophie, Sweet Akito, Tiffany, Amsterdam, and Blush.

My mom used to have a garden that grew all these roses I recognize. I remember when I was young, I'd hang out with her as she would make and give out bouquets to our neighbors. I would help her trim them and tie them together. She called me her little helper as we handed them out to people because she would always say back then that it only takes a second to make someone's day better.

Then my dad convinced my mom was replace everything to build a shed for his tools.

And now just smelling these make me miss our flowers more than I ever have.